


a gentle heart

by nishanightray



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Future What-If, M/M, POV Third Person, Post Main Story pt4, Slow Burn, other ships implied - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 05:02:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30117561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nishanightray/pseuds/nishanightray
Summary: Midou Torao is changing (and falling in love, but he doesn't know that yet).-As much as he loves sentai, he just can’t see himself doing it; he’s no hero material, after all. Heroes should have a strong mind and a gentle heart. In his mind, they look more like Mitsuki, Toma, or Ryunosuke.
Relationships: Midou Torao/Tsunashi Ryuunosuke
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	a gentle heart

There’s a soft rustling sound in the background; it reminds him of the waves gently rolling on a seashore and it would certainly lull him into sleep if he wasn’t at work right now, the studio lights shining coldly on him and the sea miles away from here.

“Mido-san, we’re ready in ten!”

A camera operator politely lets him know. It’s a cute girl. Torao sends her a smile, just because. He’s been ready for ten minutes at least and has been trying to find ways to distract himself while he waits, mostly scrolling down social media to relieve his boredom. His social media timelines got way more bright and colorful since he befriended IDOLiSH7’s members, and it's fun to look at them. To be honest, he'd like to take more group photos, too; but it'd be totally out of character if he were to ask that, wouldn’t it? Group photos seem more like Toma’s idea of bonding. As he’s trying to come up with a plan to have Toma say it in his place, his attention is drawn to a one minute-long video advertising a new sentai anime. He clicks on it at once. It totally looks like the kind of stuff he digs.

Before he can take a deeper look into it, though, another camera operator politely lets him know they’re ready to shoot. Torao promptly locks his phone, slips it into his bag, then gets up from the sofa and reaches the spot where he’s supposed to stand.

He stands there expecting someone to give him instructions, but no one does, except for one costumist who goes to him and undoes four of his collar buttons, apparently "to give the readers a little peek on his sculpted collarbone". Finally, the photographer stands up from his chair and points his camera at him.

“Stand still. Be handsome.”

Torao grins. That, he could do.

***

In Tokyo it’s impossible to see the stars – the artificial lights are far too bright for that, and there are only lampposts and neon signs to guide you through the darkness of the night. Torao grew up in a place like this and, as such, he never missed the stars, for he never really knew them. Moreover, he likes the street lights; the world would be far too dark without them, after all.

Leaning against the car window, right now he’s lazily watching streets and people pass by, gently enveloped by those lights. It’s only when the driver stops at a traffic light that he casually looks up and a flurry of colors suddenly enters his line of sight; splashes of blue and red reflect in his eyes as he finds himself staring at a gigantic screen hung on a skyscraper. It’s the same show he’s seen advertised on social media before, and true to its title, ‘Hero Bento Sentai’, it seems to be sentai anime revolving around two main characters called Red Bean and Blue Rice.

The trailer is short, too short, and to his disappointment they’re still stuck at the red traffic light when it ends. It’s not that going home late bothers him – back at the main house, no one would care if he was late anywhere he went; no one would question him even if he came back the day after, and of course no one would reproach him for it. Now that he lives alone, nothing’s changed; he doesn’t have to answer to anybody, and since the only thing waiting for him is an empty apartment, he’s in no hurry to get home.

To say it plainly, he’s bored out of his mind. His driver’s mostly quiet, only occasionally muttering something against the traffic, bit mostly ignoring him out of respect and consideration. _Boring._

“I’ll get out here,” he says all of sudden. “I’ll go home on my own later. I want to go out for a bit.”

It’s only a whim, really. However, people working for his family are usually taught to just go along with their whims, so the driver simply acknowledges his words with a nod of the head and the next moment Torao’s already slipping out of the car and blending with the crowd on the sidewalk. The air’s cold enough to chill his bones, so he buries his chin in his muffler as he makes his way through while the other pedestrians simply ignore him, too busy swimming up their own little river’s stream. Having nowhere to go in mind, he stops right before the big screen, but the sentai anime has already been replaced by a wedding dress’ ad with Rokuya Nagi’s gorgeous face plastered all over it.

“So cool,” someone mutters beside him. Torao sneaks a look to his right and catches a glimpse of a man standing just a few meters away from him. He shakes his head. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Rokuya’s beauty has the power to enthrall men and women alike. Actually, it’d be fun to send Minami a photo of him. The second he gets the idea his phone is out of his bag; however, just as he’s taking the photo, the other man calls out to him.

“Huh? Torao-kun...?”

He recognizes the voice at once, but nonetheless he is surprised and almost drops his phone. This time he turns around and takes a good look at the man in front of him - none other than Tsunashi Ryunosuke, in flesh and blood. Similarly to him, he’s wearing glasses, a hat and a mask, but in spite of all his efforts to look like a normal person he still looks very much like Tsunashi Ryunosuke, since there’s no feasible way to hide a six feet tall guy.

“Ryunosuke,” his voice gets caught in his throat, and what comes out is a low, choked sound that only vaguely resembles the other’s name. Ryunosuke smiles, though he’s a little awkward himself.

“What are you doing here alone, Torao-kun? Just got out of work?”

“Actually, yeah. I did. Some modeling stuff. And then I went, huh, for a walk. Yeah. You...?”

Apparently, he’s lost the ability to speak with any intellect. Even though he’s supposed to be a smooth talker. Just great. Ryunosuke, however, pays no mind to it and gives him a sheepish smile.

“Oh, I just needed to do some shopping, now I’m going home,” he says, and Torao only just notices the backpack slung over his shoulder.

“Ah, I see.” He can’t think of anything else to follow that up, so they both fall silent. It’s awkward, excruciatingly so.

“Uhm,” Ryunosuke mutters after a while, “I... I will go, then. Have a good night, Torao-kun”. He smiles and nods to him, and their little meeting seems to be ending in a very anti-climatic way, but as soon as Ryunosuke starts turning around to leave, Torao’s seized by an impulse.

“Wait,” he blurts out. “Let's drink something together. If you're free. I'm paying”. He realizes he’s rambling on, and that’s so not cool. So unlike himself. Why would Ryunosuke even say yes?

Indeed, Ryunosuke looks just as stunned; he doesn’t answer right away, the silence getting longer and heavier by the second. Frowning, Torao can’t help but wonder what’s taking him so long. It’s seriously unnerving and he feels out of place, almost estranged. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands, doesn’t know where to look, or what pose to assume, which is very unlike him. Only moments before he was the perfect model, and now he’s no better than a pole. Ryunosuke – Ryuu, like his friends call him (but they're not friends. Are they?) – is staring at him unabashedly yet carefully, as though he’s trying to read him like a book.

"Sure, lead the way," Ryunosuke finally says, not betraying a single hint of awkwardness. As if going out to drink with him is the most natural thing in the world, which is way more than Torao expected. Rejection would be understandable. This, not so much. But Ryunosuke’s looking at him so earnestly that he might as well just roll with it, so he does lead the way. Paying more attention to his surroundings, he realizes he’s familiar with the area, and after a bit of walking they’re able to reach a place he’s been to before, and which he deems to be absolutely perfect.

It’s a little, classy night bar with auburn brick walls and modern, sophisticated wooden interiors. Inside the long, narrow room there are a few tables and a wooden counter, behind which sits a wide selection of European wines, sake bottles and other hard liquors nicely ordered and perfectly preserved. Standing before them, a good-looking middle-aged bartender is drying wine glasses while humming along to some jazzy tune playing in the background to the accompaniment of a ticking wall clock. On the counter there are a row of direct draw beer dispensers and a dozen of sparkly beer glasses, aligned and turned upside-down on a cloth.

Aside from a few customers minding their own business in a corner, the bar is mostly free, so Torao sits at the counter, takes off his jacket and gestures for Ryunosuke to do the same. His companion sits down beside him, although a little warily, as he silently eyes the place.

“Don’t worry too much. They know me here, so they won’t make a fuss even if they recognize you,” Torao assures him, smiling in a way that’s meant to be reassuring, though he doesn’t know how effective it is. For a moment Ryunosuke looks at him like he’s trying to discern the truth, then he turns to the bartender. Only when the man gives him a little nod, as to give confirmation of what Torao just said, Ryunosuke takes his jacket off and hangs it on the back of the high wooden chair. He doesn’t completely take off his mask, simply lowering it on his chin, but Torao thinks that’s good enough – he doesn’t expect Ryunosuke to completely lower his guard around him, and though this hurts his pride a bit, he guesses he deserves it for being untrustworthy in the past. Shrugging away the feelings of discomfort, he gets ready to order.

“We’ll have a draft beer to start.” He turns to his companion. “You cool with that?”

Ryunosuke, who’s now eyeing the selection of alcoholic drinks in front of them, tears his gaze away and nods while also giving him a little smile. Then, as soon as Torao gives him the okay, the bartender skillfully fills two glasses to the brim, slips them right in front of the two men and goes back to minding his own business, leaving them all the privacy they need. Casting a glance to Ryunosuke as to say _see?_ , Torao tilts his glass to make a toast, then he lifts it to his lips. The beer’s deliciously fresh and bittersweet on the tongue. On his side, Ryunosuke also starts drinking and for a while they just sit there enjoying their beers in silence while listening to the music playing. As Torao gets to the bottom of his glass and gestures for the bartender to fill it once more, Ryunosuke finally speaks.

“This is a really nice place,” he politely starts off, for Ryunosuke is nothing if not polite. “I come to this area often, but I’ve never been here before. Do you come here often?”

After the bartender slips him a new glass of beer, Torao stares into his drink.

“Sometimes,” he says in a casual manner. “The alcohol is good and no one really bothers with you, so I think it’s neat. I usually come here alone, though...” He pauses as he realizes something, surprised. “Come to think of it, I’ve never brought someone else here before.”

Ryunosuke smiles. “Should I be honored, then?” he asks and, when Torao simply grins, he adds, “How come you never brought anyone here?”

Torao carefully ponders his answer. “Cause it’d get stuffy, I guess. I like to come here alone. If I brought any woman here, they’d probably start pestering me, and then the whole purpose of coming here would be lost, wouldn’t it? In any case, the women I usually date don’t like places like this. They’d rather go to luxury hotels, or expensive restaurants… stuff like that.”

Ryunosuke nods in understanding, even though he’s actually not used to things like that, which Torao’s well aware of. Ryunosuke is more of a romcom guy. It’s still a wonder how someone as pure-hearted as him managed to pull the public image of a sexy, wild womanizer for years.

“I see. I also think it’d be a shame to lose a place like this,” Ryunosuke says.

“Ah, do you like it then?”

“Yeah, it’s easy to relax. I might bring Gaku next time!” Ryunosuke smiles happily. “Ah, but Sogo-kun might like it, too! He likes to try different liquors after all.” Torao absently nods, but he’s not so sure he wants to see Sogo drunk - he’s terrifying enough when he’s sober.

Torao gulps down the rest of his beer and gestures for the bartender to come closer; then, as he waits for his third beer, something occurs to him and he speaks without thinking.

“Come to think of it, I’ve got work with IDOLiSH7 tomorrow,” he casually says.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, Haruka and I will be in a radio program as guests. The older Izumi’s the host.”

“Mitsuki-kun will? That sounds fun! Mitsuki-kun is great at talking, and he’s so full of energy!”

“Right? I actually listened to this show before and it’s great. I kind of look forward to it.”

“He’s also very good at putting you at ease,” Ryunosuke points out. He drinks the rest of his beer and sighs out as he leans back on his chair. “Ah, it sounds so fun. I wish I could be his guest too, but we have no plans to take part in things like that at the moment.” He stares at the counter, lost in thought for a moment, then turns to Torao. “What time are you on?”

He looks sincerely interested, so Torao tells him. After that, they talk for a bit about radio programs they like, then they move onto other pieces of media they worked on, sharing ideas and experiences at work, until they somehow start sharing stories of personal life. Torao doesn’t know who started it, but he easily goes with the flow. He’s... having fun, although it’s still a little baffling to be able to openly talk like that with Ryunosuke. Although they talked about this and that on a couple of occasions when they worked together, this feels different, somehow. It feels more intimate, somehow, since they’re alone. If anyone spotted them right now, they would likely think they were friends. Torao’s not sure how he should feel about that – happy? Grateful, even, that Ryunosuke’s so kind and open-minded? He doesn’t know what to think. It seems that his brain’s refusing to think about anything.

Meanwhile, Ryunosuke goes on talking about how hard it was for him to grow used to living in the city right after he transferred. It must have been quite lonely, for someone who is so family-oriented. Torao tries to picture him alone, without Kujo or Yaotome by his side, but somehow he can’t – they’re like a package deal.

“I quickly grew used to the city thanks to Gaku and Tenn. I mean, Tokyo’s beautiful in its own way, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Torao says, absentmindedly. They enjoy a moment of peace, quietly sipping their beers as the clock strikes eleven. Torao looks up at the light bulbs hanging from the dark wooden ceiling.

“Were there stars?” He asks, suddenly, following an impulse. Ryunosuke stares at him in confusion over the rim of his glass, so he elaborates.

“Where you lived. I mean, before. Before coming to Tokyo. Could you see the stars there?”

“Are you a little drunk, Torao-kun?” Ryunosuke sounds amused. Torao looks at his half-empty glass, then at the three empty ones in front of him, and frowns.

“Well, I do feel a little light-headed,” he admits. Ryunosuke chuckles at his honesty.

“I did,” he says, sips his drink and continues, “I did see quite a lot of stars. We lived near the ocean, and I loved it in summer. I used to gather shells and play tag with my little brothers, then in the evening we would light up sparklers and count stars.” As he reminisces about those moments, Ryunosuke’s eyes twinkle with fondness and his voice softens. At the end, he lets out a happy sigh. “So, nothing special, really. You know the stuff.” 

Torao digs through his own memories to try and picture it, but he can’t find anything even vaguely similar in his own childhood.

“Can’t say I do,” he mutters, and can’t help the bitter note of self-mockery seeping through. After downing his drink all in one breath, he sighs and rubs a finger around the rim of the glass, a half-smile on his lips. “Sounds fun, though. I never really saw the stars all that well, I think. But I really do love the city lights at night. They make everything look soft and, I don’t know... sparkly?” He can’t stop rambling on, even though he isn’t drunk yet. At least he thinks so. He doesn’t feel drunk, but he _is_ drinking faster than usual, so he might be a little more nervous than he thought. Not that Ryunosuke needs to know that.

Speaking of it, Ryunosuke is not drinking as much – despite usually being a heavy drinker, he’s only on his second drink. Torao feels his stomach hurl at the thought of Ryunosuke accepting his invitation to be polite, but being uncomfortable with it deep down.

His heart jumps in his throat as he notices that Ryunosuke is staring at him again, like he’s waiting for him to go on – Torao’s ardently aware of his gaze, but pretends he isn’t. As the silence awkwardly stretches on, he finally feels the urge to fill it himself.

“My brother and I,” he begins, but his voice trails off, unsure. “We never did any of those things together, that’s all. He was always busy studying to take my father’s place one day, so we… kind of grew apart. Also, I... did not go on many trips by myself, my father wouldn’t let me.” He pauses again, feeling like he needs to pull himself together. 

“I got used to going out at night ever since I was a teen, though, so that must be why I took a liking to the cityscape and its lights.” He smiles, acting disinterested, but as Ryunosuke still stares quietly, lines creasing on his forehead, his smile falters.

“Say something, it’s awkward for me if you don’t,” he grumbles. Ryunosuke gives him an apologetic look.

“Sorry... to be honest, I was a bit surprised. I don’t know, I... I guess I sort of thought you could have whatever you want, but… to be honest, what you said sounds a little lonely,” he says, and Torao doesn’t know whether to be exhilarated or displeased that Ryunosuke saw through him just like that. He huffs a bitter laugh and shakes his head.

“If you’re pitying me, save it. There are way more pitiful guys out there. Can’t say I had a hard time growing up… I was a selfish brat. They always told me that if I wanted something, I could just reach and grab it. See where that brought me.”

“The things that are within our reach aren’t always the things we want,” Ryunosuke says, almost in a whisper. It’s not merely a piece of advice; it’s a lesson meant for him. Torao lifts his eyes and finally, _finally_ looks right at Ryunosuke, whose gaze is unexplainably gentle as he slowly places a hand on his back in a friendly gesture that feels incredibly comforting.

“I think we had enough for today, Torao-kun. Your face is flushed,” he says, a small smile playing on his lips, then he stands up and grabs his jacket. He is also about to pay for his part, but Torao manages to stop him just in time.

“I’m paying for your part too, remember?”

Ryunosuke looks like he wants to object, but in the end he gives in, probably because he doesn’t want to argue with a drunk person, although he doesn’t openly admit it. 

Torao calls the bartender and pushes the money into his hands, then quickly slips into his jacket and walks to the exit door where Ryunosuke’s waiting for him, his hands buried in his pockets. As soon as they step outside, they’re beaten by a strong wind sweeping the streets and howling into the night. There are only a few people around now. Ryunosuke buries his chin in his scarf and says a half-muffled goodbye.

“I think it’s better if we go home straight away. Thank you for tonight, I had fun. Let’s do it again, next time it’s on me,” he says, then he awkwardly lifts a hand and gives him a little wave. Torao does the same, even though he feels a little silly, like they’re elementary school kids waving goodbye at the end of the school day. For some reason, he doesn’t feel like moving and, to his surprise, Ryunosuke doesn’t leave at once either, even though his cheeks and nose are already red and he’d better hurry home before freezing out here. But still, he stays, worriedly peering at his face. Torao raises an eyebrow at him.

“What?”

“Huh, I...” Ryunosuke hesitates, “I was just wondering if you’re alright.” He really is too kind for his own good.

“I’m fine. The cold sobered me up,” Torao says and, seeing as Ryunosuke’s still looking worried, he reinforces, “I’ll be fine. Goodnight.”

Ryunosuke stays still for a moment more, then slowly nods and whispers him goodnight before finally walking away. Torao watches him for a bit, then turns around and leaves himself, resisting the urge of finding out if Ryunosuke’s really gone, or if he also stopped to watch him go.

***

Going to live alone was not a tormented choice.

Although he loves his family, they’ve never been tightly knotted, and any form of communication between them sort of got lost through the years, to the point that he didn’t even feel the need to directly notify them of his decision – he just moved out, leaving them to find out on their own. Had he been still a teen, his father might have objected, but seeing that he’s a working adult now, no one told him anything. Besides, it’s not like he severed the ties; still having someone driving him around at his beck and call is proof of that.

There was no special reason, either; he just wanted a place to rest after work, or where he could freely invite people over. So when he found a place he liked, he bought it and moved in without a second thought. His new apartment is not as magnificent as his family’s main house, but it’s still four times bigger than any of his friends’ houses. On certain nights, he simply loves making himself a drink and sipping it on the balcony in the living room.

This time he’s already had enough to drink, however, so he heads straight to bed as soon as he gets home. Wobbly on his feet, he stumbles towards the large bedroom, scattering clothes along the way, then slips into his silk pajama and finally lays on the mattress with a long sigh, feeling drained. Being around Ryunosuke has kept him on edge all night. It seems like they both had fun, somehow; however, leaning down on the pillow with his hands linked behind his head, he can’t help but wonder what Ryunosuke really thinks of him.

Worrying about it makes him feel silly; the only way to know the truth would be to ask the person concerned, obviously, but he’s not sure he should do that. Even if they kind of made up, he still doesn’t know how he should handle Ryunosuke. He used to think they were complete opposites, but in time he started wanting to be more like Ryunosuke, who seems to hold the weight of the expectations placed on him like it’s nothing.

He doesn’t dislike the relationship they have now – the distance between two colleagues feels just about right – but somehow it feels like something’s missing. In the end, he lays awake and worrying for most of the night.

***

Hosting a radio with Izumi Mitsuki is a piece of cake.

That is, first and foremostly, because Mitsuki makes for a brilliant host – he’s quick to pick up on the mood and change it to his own tune to liven up things, or inversely slowing them down and putting people on track whenever they go off-topic, which often happens. He’s able to entertain both his guests and his public and he does so without a hitch, so perfectly that the only one who could rival him is Re:vale’s Momo. The staff absolutely loves and dotes on him, and it’s easy to see why - seeing him always striving to do his utmost best is both reassuring and encouraging, so you end up getting swept along with him before you even know.

As the show is coming to its end, they get to the fan letters corner and Mitsuki excitedly announces, “And now, let’s end our broadcast today by reading some fan letters! As usual, I’m going to ask my guests to read and answer one letter each! Mido, Isumi, are you ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Haruka says, quite impatiently.

“Of course,” Torao smoothly says. “I’m confident I can answer anything you throw at me.”

“Oooh, did you all hear that? I’m going to take you up on that challenge, Mido, so you go first! Take a letter and read it out loud!”

“Sure,” Torao reaches to fish a letter out of the basket Mitsuki’s extending to him. He chooses at random, then sits back and clears his throat before proceeding to read. “ _Hi, Mitsuki-kun..._ ” He stops and quizzically looks at Mitsuki. “Hey, is it alright if I read it? It’s addressed to you.”

“Haha, it’s fine, it’s fine! I’m also going to say something, so go on!”

“Ah, I see... Well then,” Torao takes a deep breath, then starts to read again, doing his best to articulate the message as clearly as possible for the public listening to them. 

_“Hi, Mitsuki-kun! I’m a woman in the prime of my life. I think I’m a confident person with a lot of romantic experience, but lately I’ve been feeling weak to a man who is a colleague of mine at work. We get along, but we are not close due to an accident that made him lose trust in me, after which I didn’t get the chance to apologize. What should I do to draw his attention? Should I go on the attack? Thank you for listening, signed xxx_.” When he gets to the end, he puts down the paper on the table, then looks up at Mitsuki and asks, “Can I give my answer?”

Mitsuki nods energetically. “So fast! Sure, go ahead. What do you think, Mido?”

“Well, I think she should definitely go on the attack. Show him what stuff she’s made of.”

“That’s a very _you_ answer,” Haruka points out, rolling his eyes. Mitsuki laughs.

“I second that! As expected of Mido, you’d go on the attack there.”

“Of course,” Torao says without any hesitation as he comfortably leans back in his seat.

“Hmm, I’d probably do that, too,” Mitsuki agrees, “but it really depends on the person, doesn’t it? There are also people who don’t like to be pressured, and we should try to respect their feelings. Having said that, I think you should apologize before taking a step in any direction!” Mitsuki turns to Torao again. “Isn’t that right, Mido?”

Torao stays quiet for a moment, carefully thinking about his answer.

“Well... I guess so. Apologizing is important to start anew.”

“Wise words from Mido. As expected from someone who made it in the Most Desired Men ranking, I’d say!” Mitsuki lightly teases him, but it’s all in good humor, so Torao simply goes along with it and grins back at him. Mitsuki’s smile is contagious, it seems.

“Right you are, Izumi.”

Mitsuki chuckles, then wishes the woman good luck and moves on to Haruka, whose letter of choice turns out to be a message from a high school girl seeking advice on how to distinguish love from friendship. The poor girl is utterly confused, but Haruka is just as baffled by all this love talk and Torao watches amusedly as the boy struggles to come up with something that does not sound childish, only to give up and be truthful in the end.

“Maybe your feelings are what matter most. Like, if you don’t want anyone to have that person, or you are only comfortable with that person.”

“Ah, that’s the springtime of life for you,” Torao smoothly remarks.

“Isumi is so pure and innocent. I’m sure the listeners’ hearts are being healed right now,” Mitsuki adds with a sigh. Haruka glares at them both, immediately getting defensive about it.

“Well, sorry but that’s what I think!”

“No, no, it’s okay, really.” Mitsuki reassures him. “It’s actually a fine line, isn’t it? So it’s good to think hard about it, but if it comes down to it, maybe you could try asking the other person? Good luck, we’re cheering for you!” He pauses to catch his breath, then keeps going in a cheerful and lively manner.

“Aaand that’s it for today! Thank you, Mido and Isumi, for being here with us today, and of course thank you to the staff and to all our fans and listeners! Keep sending us your mails and letters, we absolutely love them! See you all next Monday!”

The staff starts clapping their hands. Torao joins them by instinct, while Haruka just looks confused as to why they’re doing that; after that they say their thanks and goodbyes too, then just like that the three of them seamlessly wrap up the show and, at the staff’s signal, they are finally free of leaving the recording studio. As he watches Mitsuki thanking and greeting everyone he comes across, Torao starts wondering if they should also do the same. Shiro would probably want them to be nice and friendly to the staff – he always insists on the importance of building good relationships in show business. Mindful of that, Torao smoothly takes a page out of Mitsuki’s book and starts giving out his most handsome smile at every staff member who even barely meets his eyes. Everyone seems to like that, and someone also praises him for his work. Being praised is a nice plus he enjoys. As they walk to the changing room, Mitsuki surprisingly comes up to him and smoothly strikes up a conversation.

“You were really good, Mido! Do you have any radio experience?”

Torao smiles, pleased by the compliment.

“Not really. I’m just used to talking in front of a lot of people. I often went to parties and such.”

“Oooh, right, bet you did! Nagi and Sogo are also like that.”

“Yeah. I also took part in talk shows as a guest before. Being on the radio’s kind of different, though. It’s... odd, not being able to see the people listening to you.”

“I get it,” Mitsuki easily agrees. “At the end of the day, it feels much better to see your fans face to face! But now that I’m used to the radio, I also came to understand its charm, I guess.” He turns to Haruka, still smiling widely. “What about you, Isumi? Did you enjoy yourself?”

Haruka shrugs. His eyes are glued to his phone screen again.

“It was weird,” he says, then adds in a softer voice, “but also fun.”

Mitsuki grins, seemingly happy with that answer. Torao reaches out and ruffles Haruka’s hair, which is not welcomed by Haruka himself; the boy tries to escape by diving down, but Torao still manages to grab him. Having been caught, Haruka shows all of his displeasure by glaring at him, looking like a bird with all its feathers ruffled and standing. As Torao sniggers at him and gets kicked in the shin in return, starting yet another squabble, they end up ignoring Mitsuki, who looks more amused than anything. They’re still at it when they get to the changing room and are greeted by a happy, familiar voice.

“Mikki! Oh, and Isumin and Toracchi are here too!”

Haruka stops fighting Torao at once and quickly looks up to see Tamaki and the younger Izumi, Iori, standing in front of Mitsuki’s changing room, which happens to be just next to theirs.

“Niisan, I brought you refreshments,” Iori says, walking straight to his brother, and he positively beams when his brother thanks him. Then his eyes fall on Haruka, who’s right behind his brother, and blinks at him.

“Your hair is all messed up. I hope you didn’t cause trouble for niisan,” he calmly says.

“Did not!” Haruka counters, blushing as his hands instinctively fly to his head. Tamaki laughs out loud.

“Isumin, your head’s a mess,” he points out with an amused smile as he reaches out to smooth Haruka’s hair himself, gently combing his fingers through his tousled locks. After staring at them for a few seconds, Iori lets out a long sigh and gives Tamaki a little push.

“Stop it, you’re making it worse. I’ll do it.”

“Stop it, _both of you_ ,” Haruka mumbles, but aside from a weak attempt to smack their hands away, he does absolutely nothing to stop them and just stands there glaring holes at the ground, grumpy and embarrassed. Mitsuki and Torao exchange glances with each other, then decide to leave the youngsters in their own little world and go ahead to change.

To Torao’s surprise, Mitsuki gets into the changing room after him, ignoring the fact that he’s got one of his own, and lets himself fall on a leather chair as soon as he steps in, leaning back and stretching his arms and legs.

“Tired?” Torao asks, sitting on a sofa opposite to him and crossing his legs.

Mitsuki grins. “Not a bit,” he quickly answers, “I’m raring to go! I got another job after this, actually. Tamaki and Iori came to pick me up. What about you guys?”

“We’re free after this, and no one’s picking us up. Toma and Minami are out all day filming, I think... Well, basically they walk around and do stuff. They get a lot of job offers like that.”

“Ah, we watched one of those before! Natsume’s commentary on ramen is sooo detailed. It made me _crave_ it so bad, we had it for dinner twice in a row last week. Tamaki was thrilled.” As he recalls that, he also takes out his phone to show him a series of photos they took – Tamaki slurping down his ramen bowl, Nanase and Rokuya doing funny poses with their chopsticks, Sogo pouring way too much Tabasco and turning his ramen into an appalling bowl of lava, to everyone’s bafflement and dismay. They look like they’re having so much fun that it’s contagious, and Torao finds himself grinning. 

“Damn, now you’re making me crave ramen, too. I’m going to ask Minami for some recs.”

“Do that! And then send me some, too!”

“Sure. Do you often have take-out? I thought you were taking care of the kitchen.”

“Oh, I usually do. Sogo and Yamato-san also help me from time to time. But it’s more convenient to have take-out when it gets too late at work, or when there’s a show on TV we all want to watch,” Mitsuki replies.

“Speaking of which, did you see a new sentai show is coming out? Their manga is getting popular, so they want to launch an anime!”

“I got you. _Hero Bento Sentai_ , right?”

“That’s the one! I’m so excited. I don’t know if you know the manga, but it’s super good, I definitely recommend it. I can’t wait to watch it,” Mitsuki tattles on.

“Yeah, me too. I think I’m going to record it...”

“Ah, you’re right. Since we don’t know if we’re gonna have work or not.”

“That’s exactly it,” Torao agrees. “Do you know when it’s going to be out?”

Mitsuki hums under his breath. “Hmm, I think they still have to cast the voice actors, so it’s likely gonna come out later this spring. There was this casting notice I saw... Oh, I know.” He breaks into a grin. “Why don’t _you_ try auditioning?”

For a moment, Torao just stares at him, his eyes wide like saucers, but he tries to keep his cool.

“Me? That came out of nowhere.”

“Did not!” Mitsuki objects energetically. “You love this kind of stuff, you have a really nice voice, and you are handsome to boot. I think a character voiced by you would be really cool!”

Torao glances away and lets out a strangled laugh, flustered but not entirely displeased at being praised. He’s still bewildered at the suggestion, though.

“Well, thanks. But honestly, I don’t think I will.”

At that, Mitsuki narrows his eyes at him in suspicion.

“You’re not taking idol work lightly again, are you?” He sounds about ready to kick his ass, and it’s amazing how threatening he sounds despite being twenty centimeters shorter than him. Torao raises his hands defensively.

“No. I’m not. I swear, I’m totally not.”

He hurries to deny it, but Mitsuki still looks suspicious, his eyes burning a hole into him as he stares at his face with a stern expression. Torao wills himself to hold his gaze to show him he’s not lying. At long last, after what feels like an impromptu staring contest, Mitsuki visibly relaxes and the expression on his face morphs from one of reproach to one of curiosity. Torao barely holds back a sigh, glad to have escaped Mitsuki’s anger, but his relief is short-lived since Mitsuki doesn’t have the slightest intention of letting this go.

“Oh. Then why don’t you?”

Torao inwardly cringes. “I... I just can’t see myself doing that, I guess. Everyone’s got a certain image of me, you know? And I don’t think voicing an anime character would suit someone like me,” he says, and it’s almost the truth. As much as he loves sentai, he just can’t see himself doing it; he’s no hero material, after all. Heroes should have a strong mind and a gentle heart. In his mind, they look more like Mitsuki, Toma, or Ryunosuke. 

Mitsuki seems to consider his answer for a moment.

“Ah... you think your fans wouldn’t like it? That’s kind of sad, but I get it… Things like that are difficult, I totally get it,” he says bitterly, furrowing his brows in deep thought. Then he suddenly throws up his hands and bolts upright.

“But, man, what a waste! Bet they’re going to have some really cool lines! I mean, did you see the characters’ profiles? Red looks especially handsome. I would die to try his lines!” He cries out, and his face breaks into a grin. “The concept’s kinda interesting, too. I don’t know what’s up with the bento, though.”

“Ah, maybe they’re going to have lines like, ‘Let’s get along like the different dishes in a bento all come together in harmony’?”

“Whoa, Mido, that’s a nice thing you said there.”

“I know, right?”

“Blue also seems like a reliable guy. He looks cool and mature, but he’s actually a dazzling guy. People are going to love that kind of gap.”

“Well, yeah. Red’s still the coolest, though.”

Just as Mitsuki’s about to answer, Izumi Iori opens the door and cautiously peeps inside, looking relieved as soon as his attentive gaze falls on his brother.

“Niisan, here you are,” he says, then he turns towards Torao and politely nods to him. “Good work, Mido-san. I’m sorry, but we really need to go. We’ve got another job after this.”

Torao greets him back, then turns to Mitsuki.

“Got it. Well, it’s been fun. Let’s catch up later, Izumi,” he says with a smile. Mitsuki smiles back, gives him a manly pat on the back and runs up to his brother; just before leaving, though, he turns towards him again.

“Ah, I almost forgot,” he says, grinning, “we’re having a party at our dorm again this Friday night. Why don’t we catch up there? Tell the others too.”

“Sure,” Torao says, trying not to look too obviously pleased.

Mitsuki beams at him. “See you on Friday, then! I’ll send details over rabbit chat later!” he says, then leaves after his brother. His departure’s like the passing of a storm, and the changing room goes awfully quiet after that.

After they leave, while Torao’s lazily browsing through a magazine, Haruka comes in and starts complaining that he wants to go out for lunch, making him realize he’s also sort of hungry after all that ramen talk, so they gather their things and leave to hunt for some food in a friendly family restaurant.

***

Ever since Shiro’s taken up manager’s duties, he’s made a habit of gathering them in the ex-president's room at least once, if not twice, a week. At first, going to that room gave them an odd sense of estrangement and made them cringe from a dark past they only want to leave behind. The ex president’s room – Ryo’s room - is a place filled with awful memories, and the way they parted ways with Ryo also left a bad taste in their mouth. However, they kept meeting there at Shiro’s explicit request, so that they slowly got used to it, until this place kind of became ZOOL’s headquarters. Torao often wonders if that isn’t the reason Shiro insisted on it in the first place. It’s like the guy’s actively trying to exorcise this place.

When Torao arrives – late, of course – he finds the others already inside, Shiro included.

Their manager, placidly sitting at Ryo’s desk, doesn’t even blink when Torao comes in. “Torao-kun! C’mon in, we were waiting for you,” he greets him with a dazzling smile as he gestures for him to sit down on the sofa where Haruka’s already slumped.

“Again,” Haruka mumbles, rolling his eyes. “We were waiting for him _again_.”

“This part of him never changes, huh. Though he takes his job seriously!” Toma adds.

“Stop talking like I’m not here,” Torao huffs, though he’s not really annoyed.

He walks to the sofa and sits next to Haruka, who immediately scoots further from him in order to restore his precious personal space. Torao might even be offended at that if he didn’t know better than to disturb Haruka when he’s playing. Every time anyone just so happens to interrupt him, Haruka throws a fit; breaking a combo is like a life sentence, apparently. Meanwhile, Toma and Minami are sitting on the sofa opposite to them, and there’s so little space between them that one might as well sit in the other’s lap. Weirdly enough, Minami doesn’t seem to mind, although he’s usually very particular about keeping boundaries - it’s probably because it’s Toma. It’s easy to make exceptions for Toma.

Once everyone’s sitting, Shiro claps his hand together to gather their attention.

“Now that we’re all comfortable, let’s discuss work, shall we?” He sends a very pointed look at Haruka, who immediately puts down his phone and straightens himself up. Shiro smiles appreciatively, then gets up from behind the desk and hands them their respective schedules. Torao starts flipping through it right away – of course, it’s fully packed. Shiro’s been working hard to build up their reputation for the past year; filling in Ryo’s shoes isn’t an easy fit. Torao notices there are quite a lot of times they’re going to work as a group, which he’s glad for, but there are also times they’re getting split up in pairs, and some solo jobs. Of course, it’s nothing he can’t handle... that is, until he gets to a certain page. His eyes bulging out, he straightens up so abruptly that he nearly bumps into Haruka, earning a glare from him. Torao ignores and looks up at Shiro, bewildered.

“It can’t be...” he says. “You got me a job with TRIGGER?”

“What?! Let me see!” At that, Haruka’s attitude changes in a heartbeat, and he almost jumps at him as he tries to take a look at his schedule. Meanwhile, Shiro crosses his arms on his chest and gives them a big smile, rather proud of himself for that achievement.

“I think it’ll be a good experience for you. Your aloof, cool image is great and all, but we really need to step up our game and TRIGGER are someone we can definitely look up to. Plus, as I told you guys before, we really need to expand our relationship net.”

“In other words,” Minami politely interjects, “we need to make good connections inside the industry, and the first step is to befriend other groups, isn’t that it?”

“That’s exactly it.”

“Uhm... Was TRIGGER okay with it?” Toma wants to know, equally anxious and excited.

“Oh, I already talked with their manager and she gave me the green light. She’s such a lovely woman.” Shiro hums contentedly. “Moreover, Torao-kun, at the New Year party last year I got the impression that you got on really well with Tsunashi Ryunosuke. So it shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

Torao blinks back at him, increasingly feeling like he’s been pushed into a corner.

“Well... we’re not exactly friends, but I think we get along just fine...?”

“That’s perfect then! Think of this as a chance to get along better with him,” Shiro says and, judging from his tone, the conversation’s over. He takes a quick glance at his wristwatch, then grabs his jacket from the chair and slips into it while crossing the room with large strides.

“Sorry guys, I’ve got to be somewhere else in about thirty minutes, so I’m going now. If you have other questions about your schedule, you can message me anytime. See you later then!” He talks so fast that he almost doesn’t breathe, giving them no time to reply before he leaves the room. After the door closes behind his back, they all breathe a sigh of relief.

“I’m kinda getting used to him, but it’s still nerve-wracking when he talks no-stop,” Toma says, looking absolutely worn out as he leans back against the pillows and runs a hand through his hair. “Man, I’m so envious you get to work with TRIGGER, Tora! I happened to see a magazine with them on the cover just the other day. They are so cool!”

“I’m cool, too,” Torao pouts, while Minami asks, “Did you buy it?”

Toma blinks at both of them in confusion, unaware of their jealousy, then he simply shrugs and brings his attention back to his schedule, humming under his breath. Shortly after, he stops and points at something.

“Oh, Mina, look! This week we’re paired up for another ramen tour, and we also get to sightsee together!” As Toma speaks excitedly, Minami leans forward to see what he’s pointing at, elegantly pushing a lock of hair behind his ear and shifting even closer to Toma than before. They’re practically joined by the hip at this point, and Torao can’t help but think they’re definitely closer than necessary. And, for some reasons, their outings are looking more and more like dates. Or maybe it’s only him. He turns to Haruka for a second opinion, but quickly forgets it seeing that the boy’s still got his head in the papers.

“What are you up to?” he asks, curious. “Checking whether you got jobs with other groups?”

“Isumi-san’s still quite timid around others, after all,” Minami lightly remarks.

“Ah, are you scared of working with Kujo? I thought you were over that,” Toma says. Haruka glares at all of them, his lips drawn in a thin line, which means they’ve probably hit the mark. Before anyone can point it out, though, Haruka hurriedly steers the conversation back to Torao.

“Whatever TRIGGER is up to, you gotta show them, alright?!”

“Sure. Who do you think you’re talking to? I’ll get it done perfectly.”

“Maybe you can start by being on time,” Minami teases him, a fond smile on his lips. Torao shrugs and leans back against the sofa, grinning at him.

“I’ll show you I can be flawless, too. You can count on me as the eldest member.”

“Right. Well, it sure is reassuring to know you’re working hard to build our relationship net, Mido-san. I heard from Isumi-san you get on well with Izumi-san, too. I didn’t realize you had friends other than us, but that seems nice.”

Torao frowns at him. “I do have friends,” he mumbles, pouting, though he can’t think about anyone who isn’t work-related on the spot. “But what did Haruka say?”

“Oh, something about a _bento_ and you telling lines from a TV show.”

Torao turns to Haruka, raising an eyebrow. “You told them that?”

“What? It was hilarious,” the boy says, suspiciously looking away. Torao grabs a pillow and hits his side with it, at which Haruka yelps indignantly; when he tries to retaliate, Torao grabs his wrists, and they start to wrestle on the sofa.

“So much for being the eldest,” Toma says, amused, but Torao, deaf to unflattering comments, simply focuses on pinning Haruka down despite the boy struggling under him to get free. While holding him down, he suddenly remembers what Mitsuki told him.

“Ah, that reminds me. Izumi said they’re holding a party on Friday and invited all of us.”

“I’m in. Their parties are fun as hell and the food’s always great,” Toma says at once. “Must be nice to live in a dorm! It makes me kinda wanna try living with you guys, but I bet you’re gonna be a real pain in the ass, no offence.”

“We’d end up killing each other. Torao would be the first to go,” Haruka taunts him despite the situation he’s in; then, before Torao can object, he reluctantly adds, “Anyway, I’m in too. Yotsuba’s been bugging me to play some game with him, so I might as well go.”

“If you’re all going, then I have no problems with it either,” Minami says.

“Well, I think that seals it. Seems like we’ve got plans on Friday night.” Torao grins and takes out his phone to quickly send Mitsuki a rabbit chat to notify him. As he does, he forgets that he was supposed to be holding Haruka down, so the boy manages to get free, grab the pillow and hit him hard, knocking him off the sofa.

***

On Friday night, having met up as planned, the four of them reach IDOLiSH7’s dorm. Even though Torao is crazily late as usual, they surprisingly turn out to be the first to arrive at the party, while TRIGGER and Re:vale are still nowhere in sight – that’s what Izumi Iori tells them as he welcomes them in after showing them where they can hang their jacket, like the perfect host he is.

“Please sit down wherever you want,” Izumi Iori politely tells them. “Niisan and Osaka-san are busy in the kitchen. The rest are in Rokuya-san’s room. They’ve been playing a game for hours.” He frowns and shakes his head, apparently disapproving of them. Just then, Mitsuki calls from the kitchen.

“Who’s there, Iori? Can you call Yamato-san for me?”

“ZOOL is here, niisan,” Iori tells him, then nods to them one last time and turns around to go upstairs to get Nikaidou. They watch him go. While Haruka, Torao and Minami sit down on the sofa, Toma approaches Sogo at the kitchen counter.

“’Sup, Sogo! Did ya hear that group’s new single...?”

Sogo looks up from what he’s doing and beams at him; soon the two of them are engrossed in a conversation revolving around music and bands they like. As Toma takes out his phone and starts showing him something, Sogo leans in a bit closer and they end up standing head to head by the counter, chattering away like old friends. Just then, Minami’s phone starts ringing. Torao turns to him, and he could swear Minami was staring at Toma but then Minami quickly tears his gaze away and frowns at his phone before answering the call.

“Hello? Utsugi-san?” He says softly, covering his phone with one hand to stifle out the voice that comes from the other end. Torao still recognizes their manager’s voice and sends Minami a questioning look, but the other just raises his eyebrows, equally surprised.

“Yes. We are all together—Yes, Inumaru-san is right here with me. I’ll tell him. Let’s talk later.” Minami hangs up after only a few lines and turns to Toma, who’s already gazing at him. “Inumaru-san, I need to tell you something on Utsugi-san’s behalf.”

“What? Right now?” Haruka blurts out, puzzled. Minami smiles apologetically..

“It’s nothing special, really,” he says. “We just need to discuss some details regarding the ramen tour next week and then let Utsugi-san know. Inumaru-san, can we go out for a minute?”

Toma turns to Sogo, an apologetic look on his face. “Sorry, Sogo, let’s continue later,” he says. Sogo doesn’t seem offended, but rather tells him to go ahead; so with that Toma and Minami leave the dorm together. Torao stares after them, a deep frown on his face – no matter what, he absolutely detests being kept out of things.

A few minutes later, Nikaidou comes downstairs with Tamaki in tow. Upon spotting Haruka, Tamaki beams and excitedly bounces him like an overgrown Samoyed.

“Isumin! You came!!” he yells as he attaches himself to him. Haruka flails around, flustered at the sudden display of affection, but eventually gives in. Mitsuki smiles, visibly amused by the cute sight, then turns to Nikaidou.

“You got here faster than I thought. But where is Iori?”

Nikaidou shrugs. “He got taken and I was freed, a man for a man. Ichi’s sacrifice won’t be forgotten,” he says, comically solemn, and Mitsuki rolls his eyes at him. Torao lets out a snort and quickly covers it up with a cough when everyone looks at him. Nikaidou turns back to Mitsuki, a smug smile playing on his lips.

“So, what do you need me for? I thought you had everything in check already. Nagi’s gonna sulk if he knows you took away his ‘Kokona time’ for no reason.”

“You spoil him too much anyway,” Mitsuki objects, and Nikaidou doesn’t even bother to deny it.

“You’re no better.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Mitsuki shrugs and places a handful of apples and strawberries on the counter. “I’ve got no time to arrange this, so please do that for me, _leader_ ,” he says, grinning as he draws out the last word. Nikaidou sighs, quick to give in; before he can even start, however, the doorbell rings, drawing their attention. Nikaidou frowns, casting a glance at the wall clock. “What, is the delivery here already?”

“Could be,” Mitsuki shrugs. “That _sobaman_ works really hard.”

Nikaidou’s expression seems to relax almost unconsciously. “That he does. He’s like the superhero of soba. Always at the right place at the right time,” he agrees with a smile. “But I think I left my wallet in my room. Tama, go to the door while I go grab it real quick.”

“Oookay.” Tamaki nods and goes to the door, dragging Haruka away with him. Torao also follows them, a little curious about this soba delivery guy, but any expectations he had are easily surpassed once they open the door and find themselves facing the most dashing delivery man they’ve ever seen. The man’s got a rocking body, luscious grey hair and an intense gaze - he’s like Yaotome Gaku’s proletarian twin. Haruka yelps, unable to contain his shock.

“Yaotome Gaku...?!”

In spite of their bafflement, the delivery man manages to remain completely straight-faced.

“Ah, I get that a lot… but I’m not as handsome as him,” he says without skipping a beat. “I’m just here to deliver your soba order. Here, take it.”

For a moment Torao simply stares at him, without moving to take it, so the delivery man pushes the bags into his hands; at the same time, Nikaidou joins them in the entryway. He gestures for him to extend his hand and, once the man does, he starts to carefully put the money on his palm, coin by coin. Engrossed in this strange, confusing ritual, everyone quietly watches until the end. Once Nikaidou is done, he looks up at the man with a lopsided grin.

“Here you go, champ,” he cheerfully says, as you would with a child. “Keep the rest. Go get whatever you like. We’re always reeeally grateful for your service.”

The delivery man’s handsome face twists in a frown as he stares at the money, then grumbles a few words under his breath. Nikaidou’s lips tremble as if he’s trying to suppress laughter.

“What? Didn’t hear you. Care to say it again?”

“I said, thank you for your continuous patronage. Enjoy your meal,” Yaotome Gaku’s look-alike says, clearly forcing himself to give a business smile; then he respectfully nods to Torao and Haruka and turns around. Haruka stares after him as he drives away, furrowing his brows in confusion, then turns to Nikaidou.

“Huh. That was weird. Are you two actually close friends?”

“Eh,” Nikaidou shakes his head, “well, you could say that. We’re always in their care after all.” He turns to Torao to relieve him of the bags. “I’ll take these to the kitchen. You guys just take it easy, okay? TRIGGER will come in a bit.”

“Ah... are they often late?” Torao asks, curious.

Nikaidou shrugs and gives him a knowing smile.

“Not really, but I get the feeling tonight they’ll be,” he says mysteriously, then goes back to the kitchen. Haruka still looks rather perplexed.

“That was weird. Wasn’t it? I mean, what the hell just happened? And isn’t it crazy that man resembles Yaotome Gaku so much exists?!”

“Yeah, crazy,” Torao agrees. “I wonder if I have a hot doppelganger too.” Haruka sends him a look ranging between astonishment and disgust, while Tamaki blinks at him in confusion. Just then, someone shouts from upstairs; it sounds like Rokuya. Tamaki’s face scrunches up as if he’s suddenly reminded of something.

“Oh! Right! Isumin, you gotta come with me, quickly!” He claims, taking hold of Haruka’s hand, then he turns to Torao with an extremely serious expression on his face. “Sorry, Toracchi! I need Isumin now! It’s a matter of life and death!!”

“Oh. Got it,” Torao says, a little baffled - he has no idea what’s going on, but what can one do if it’s a matter of life and death? Haruka sends them both an incredulous look, but Tamaki is already pulling him away.

“Thanks, Toracchi! Isumin, let’s go!”

“Don’t pull me! Hey! Who’s dying?!”

“Kokona’s friend!”

“What the hell does that _mean?_ ” But for all his complaining, Haruka still lets himself be dragged away; Torao stares after them until they go upstairs, leaving him behind, then he goes back to the living room alone. Seeing Nikaidou sprawled on the sofa, busy carving apples and placing them on a serving plate carefully balanced on his lap, Torao draws near, intrigued and surprised by his unexpected talent in crafting.

“Huh, you’re good at this,” he remarks, leaning over the back of the sofa. The apple rabbits look especially cute. “I’d never pegged you for someone who loves those things.” Nikaidou tilts his face up and lets out an awkward laugh.

“I don’t necessarily like them... It’s just that Mitsu insisted that I should help.” Hearing his name, Mitsuki peeps out of the kitchen and narrows his eyes at his group leader.

“Are you slacking off, _leader_?”

“Hey, _oniisan_ is doing his best here!”

“As you should!!”

“I was just telling him it looks good,” Torao interjects, vaguely gesturing at the apple rabbits. Mitsuki nods energetically.

“Yamato-san is actually pretty good at detailed works. He also makes Iori and Tamaki’s _bento_ , and he gets really into that,” he says, glancing at Nikaidou. “ _Even though_ he looks like that.”

“That last part was completely unnecessary,” Nikaidou grumbles, but Mitsuki ignores him. Torao whistles, impressed, and wonders if Nikaidou can also do a _sentai bento_. He probably can.

“How do you do that?” Torao asks, pointing at the apple rabbits. Nikaidou lets out a sigh.

“What, you want to learn? They’re the easiest, though.”

“Our leader says he doesn’t mind teaching you,” Mitsuki says.

“I literally never said that!”

“So you won’t teach me?” Torao asks. Nikaidou gives him an astonished look.

“I mean... I could if you really want to. I just never thought a _young master_ like you would be interested,” he says, as though he isn’t a young master himself. Torao shrugs.

“Well, I’ve got nothing better to do. So, you up for it?”

Nikaidou stares at him for a long moment. Even Mitsuki stares, apparently unaware that Sogo, sporting a suspiciously red-stained apron, is unceremoniously stabbing a white radish behind his back. He looks terrifying to say the least, but Mitsuki has either nerves of steel or zero awareness of his surroundings. In the end, Nikaidou gives in and tells him to sit down, cause he’ll only show him once. Torao complies, leaning over to watch as Nikaidou picks up an apple, cuts it in half and then carefully shapes each of the four slices in a rabbit, explaining what he’s doing all the while. For all his resistance earlier, Torao thinks he’s actually a pretty good teacher. After a while, Mitsuki turns off the fire under the pan and starts watching them in amusement, then Sogo finally notices what they’re doing and joins them, too. If anyone stepped into the living room right now, they would probably be surprised to find a group of adults entirely focused on making apple rabbits. Once the apples are all gone, Torao proudly watches over his creatures, which he deems to be pretty cute for a first try; he might have a knack for this. On the other hand, Sogo is the clumsiest man alive, and even Nikaidou gives up on him almost from the start: all the apples in the world wouldn’t be enough for Sogo to succeed in making a cute apple rabbit. He still looks incredibly proud of them, so no one dares tell him anything, and in the end his ugly, humongous rabbits get served on the plate with all the others.

After they’re finished, Nikaidou helps Mitsuki decorate a golden pound cake giving off a mouthwatering sweet smell with some whipped buttercream and strawberries carved like flowers, while Torao and Sogo, left with nothing to do, simply wait around as minutes tick past.

Then the doorbell rings thrice in a row.

“Whoa, someone is impatient. Maybe Trigger finally made it,” Nikaidou says, and at that Sogo rushes to the door as if the thought of making Trigger wait outside is enough to give him an ulcer (it probably is). One second later, Kujo, Yaotome and Ryunosuke enter the dorms, fashionably late as befits real divas, though for some reason Kujo looks quite disgruntled about it. While Ryunosuke stops to give Sogo a bottle of sake they brought and Sogo gratefully takes it from his hands, Yaotome storms into the living room, aiming at Nikaidou like a hound dog; Nikaidou scrambles to get away, but Yaotome manages to grab him by the scruff of his shirt before he can.

“Leader meeting,” he spells out through clenched teeth. Nikaidou starts sweating profusely.

“Yaotome, wait—There are other people, you know?! Can’t you just... can’t you wait?!”

But apparently Yaotome _cannot_ , because after that he drags the other upstairs; they all hear there’s the sound of a door – presumably Nikaidou’s – being slammed shut and then nothing else. Silence falls in the room as they all try to understand what they just witnessed until Mitsuki decides to break the ice by inviting Kujo and Ryunosuke to make themselves comfortable. As Sogo carries the bottle of sake like a sacred object and Kujo quietly follows him inside, Ryunosuke turns to greet Torao with a smile.

“So, what did we miss?” He asks, kind of awkwardly.

“Oh, nothing much,” Torao says, pauses, then he adds clumsily, “Nikaidou taught me how to make apple rabbits.” Ryunosuke looks equally perplexed and amused.

“That’s cute,” he says, and Torao leads him to the kitchen to see them.

About a quarter of an hour later, Minami and Toma come back, and Torao notices how flushed their faces are, although Minami looks considerably more put together than Toma. He really wants to question them about their whereabouts, but Minami only tells him that they were discussing some changes in their schedule and it’s almost impossible to make him spill more than that. Despite Torao watching him closely, nothing leaks out from Minami’s careful expression. Toma looks from one to another, then sighs and pushes past them to get some warmth inside as he complains about how it’s freezing outside. Just then the high school trio plus Nanase and Rokuya also come downstairs, probaby alerted by all the voices; and lastly, Yuki and Momo finally make their entrance.

“Ta-daah! Momo’s here, let’s get the party started!!”

“Oh? Ryunosuke-kun and Tenn-kun are already here, but Gaku-kun is missing?”

Torao can’t help but flinch a little at hearing Yuki’s voice, and he quickly turns around, since there’s no way he’d feel safe having Yuki behind his back.

“Yaotome-san and Yamato-san are having a leader meeting in Yamato-san’s room,” Sogo politely says, making their sudden ‘leader meeting’ sound less ridiculous than everyone thinks it is.

“They’re holding a leader meeting without me? That’s outrageous,” Yuki says, though he looks more intrigued than outraged as his gaze wanders upstairs like he’s actually considering going up there just to mess around with his juniors, much to Nikaidou’s discomfort.

“Let’s just ignore them. They’ll come out when they’re ready,” Kujo mercilessly suggests, rubbing his forehead as though Yaotome has given him a massive headache. Ryunosuke smiles apologetically, but says nothing. Then Mitsuki calls them all over the table. Everything’s already set, and the fact that there’s barely anything non-alcoholic to drink is very telling of what kind of party awaits them. Once they’re all gathered, Yaotome and Nikaidou aside, Momo raises his glass in the air, spilling some beer, and excitedly cheers, “Let’s get the party started!!” And so with that they get the ball rolling and everyone starts eating and drinking as much they please, the room filling with the sound of several cans of beer being popped open. As if magically summoned by beer, Yaotome and Nikaidou show up looking like they just had a cat fight and just sit down and start eating normally. No one dares to ask whatever happened between them, though Yuki keeps pestering them about holding another ‘leader meeting’ including him (and Toma).

Once the food and especially the beer are almost all gone, they finally open the bottle of sake, which is the retreat signal for the minors, who quickly escape upstairs. Only Haruka stays downstairs, because he found a bowl of whipped cream left over from the cake decoration, but even he makes sure to keep his distance from the adults. Everyone just _knows_ that alcohol and this specific group of people don’t mix well. Mindful of his last drink-out with Ryunosuke, Torao tries to keep himself in check this time. Toma doesn’t. He gets drunk very fast, his face slowly becoming the same color as his hair; at one point he even grabs Haruka and tries to make him drink, and Torao and Minami have to physically peel him off the boy. Though Minami also drank a little, nothing shows on his face, and Rokuya’s just the same - the two of them just became of age this year, yet they hold their alcohol better than any of the ‘experienced’ adults.

“Inumaru-san, Isumi-san is still a minor,” Minami gently reminds their leader while pushing him away from Haruka at the same time. Toma doesn’t put up any resistance, but turns to Minami instead; he stares at him for a long moment, edging closer and closer, until they’re barely centimeters apart, and Minami blinks at him, his hands still on his chest as he slightly inches away. Then Toma suddenly breaks into a smile, leans down and just... kisses him on the cheek. Minami goes completely still, his cheeks flaring up and his eyes wide like saucers, as Toma stumbles back to the table, unaware of the mess he just made. The three of them stare after him in shock, and Torao hardly manages to ask, “What was _that_?” 

That seems to snap Minami out of his shock. His mouth falls shut, and he tries to compose himself despite the redness spreading over his face.

“Nothing,” he says, clipped. “It was nothing. I-Inumaru-san is just out of it.”

“I didn’t get any kiss though,” Torao points out.

“Why would you?” Minami snaps back.

“Why are you so upset?”

Minami frowns, pursuing his lips.

“Minami, you’re being mean. You’re always mean when you’re embarrassed,” Haruka says. He has almost finished eating all the whipped cream off the bowl, and Torao wonders if he’ll start stealing strawberries from the cake next, in which case he’ll have to fight for them with Yaotome.

“Says you. Like you aren’t so rude with Yotsuba-san and Izumi-san just cause you’re shy, Isumi-san,” Minami says, because _of course_ , he always has to go for the kill.

“That’s not true!” Haruka complains, his face going red.

“Yeah, it’s kinda true.” Torao grins, enjoying teasing him. “But Minami, you’re also being mean.”

Minami narrows his eyes at him. “Stop acting like you’re so mature just because you’re the eldest, Mido-san. You’re so shy around Tsunashi-san it’s embarrassing to watch.”

Torao nearly chokes.

“What? I don’t— _I’m not shy!_ ”

“Huh, I noticed that too,” Haruka interjects. Torao stares at both of them in disbelief.

“This is ridiculous. You know I’m not shy.”

“I do admit it’s very unlike you,” Minami concedes, thoughtfully. Torao finds himself at a loss of words, absolutely despising how fast they allied themselves against him. Damn brats. A two-versus-one is totally unfair. He huffs as he turns his head away, pouting.

“Look, you have to be kidding me, cause no matter how you look at it, I’m definitely not—”

“Torao-kun!”

The three of them around at the sound of Ryunosuke’s cheerfully calling for him from across the room, apparently on his own and looking for company. When their eyes meet, Ryunosuke’s face breaks into a big grin, and he gestures for him to come closer. Haruka and Minami also stare at him as if daring him to accept the sudden invitation, and they’re so annoying that Torao decides to go just to prove them wrong.

At a closer look, Ryunosuke seems to be already battered – his face is flushed up to his ears and nape, he’s wobbly on his feet and there’s a gleeful sparkle in his golden gaze as he watches Torao approach him. When Torao gets close enough to touch, Ryunosuke smiles even brighter.

“Torao-kun!” He says, then suddenly hugs him, or rather collapses against him, almost taking him down by surprise. Luckily, Torao manages to catch him by reflex, instinctively wrapping his arms around him to support him; however, since Ryunosuke nearly jumped him, he ends up having to step back a couple of steps, and that’s when the back of his knees hit the sofa, making him lose his balance and fall backwards. When Torao looks up, his breath knocked out of his lungs, he finds himself sandwiched between the pillows and Ryunosuke’s body, though the other doesn’t seem to mind one bit; on the contrary, he apparently finds this hilarious – they’re so close that Torao can physically feel the sound of laughter rumbling through his chest. Ryunosuke leans down and mumbles something incomprehensible in his ear, and Torao’s heart starts hammering in his chest even though he didn’t get a single word.

“Ryu—Ryunosuke,” he’s barely able to splutter as he tries to push him away, but Ryunosuke won’t budge no matter what he does. On the contrary, his grip only gets stronger and harder to break away from as he wraps his arms around his waist, rolls them around and drags him on his lap, hugging him like a dakimakura, his cheek pressed against his shoulder blades. He must think he’s a pillow or something. Finding this position to be extremely embarrassing, Torao tries to break free one more time, but to no avail.

“Why me,” he mutters under his breath. God knows he isn’t drunk enough for this. Just as he’s wondering what to do, Minami’s face enters his line of sight as the boy leans down to take a good look at him, a little smile playing on his lips.

“Are you comfortable, Mido-san?”

“Do I look comfortable to you?”

“Very.”

“Why do you look like you’re having so much fun,” Torao petulantly drawls out.

“Should I call for help?”

Torao heaves out a sigh. “Yes.”

Minami nods and turns around. Watching him leave, Torao can only hope he’s going to come back, eventually. Meanwhile, he notices, Ryunosuke has considerably quieted down; he can feel his chest heaving softly against his back, his breath puffing lightly against the scalp of his head, and wonders if Ryunosuke hasn’t dozed off while cuddling him. It gives him mixed feelings. This position feels almost too intimate. Ryunosuke’s hands rest against his hips, his fingers barely grazing his naked skin where the shirt slightly raises up. When Torao tries to move them, Ryunosuke takes hold of his hands instead and holds them tight, giving away that he’s not sleeping at all. Torao almost forgets to breathe, his brain entirely focused on the feeling on Ryunosuke’s warm, calloused hands. After a while, Ryunosuke slowly peeks out from behind his back and his drowsy, unfocused eyes fix on Torao’s hands as he starts to gently run his thumbs upon the other’s knuckles.

“You’ve got lovely hands,” he mumbles, his voice low and husky from all the liquor burning his throat. Torao sucks his breath in. He sure hopes Ryunosuke’s not going to remember any of this.

“Lovely hands,” Ryunosuke repeats, maybe thinking that Torao didn’t hear him the first time.

“Huh, thanks.”

“Did anyone ever tell you? That you have beautiful hands?”

“Uhm... I think not.” For some reason, Ryunosuke hums appreciatively, like he’s pleased with this answer. Holding hands with him feels unexpectedly nice, though Torao’s not sure they should be holding hands at all. Shockingly enough, he’s actually starting to enjoy the closeness, his brain quickly turning to mush. Did he actually drink more than he thought?

As silence stretches on, Ryunosuke seems to think they’ve been quiet for too long and starts to happily hum a slow, acapella version of ‘Secret night’ under his breath; it’s actually impressive how easily he can sing it by memory even when he’s drunk. His voice is also very soothing.

He has just begun the final strophe when Minami finally comes back bringing Nikaidou and Yaotome along with him. Seeing that both of them have their hands full with beer, Torao deduces they’ve gone out to buy more at some point. Perhaps thanks to having gone out in the cold, they look considerably more sober now; as soon as they see Ryunosuke, Nikaidou’s mouth curves into a bemused expression, while Yaotome lets out a long-suffering sigh.

“Damn. Oi, Ryu!” Leaving the beer aside, he brusquely grabs Ryunosuke by the shoulder and tries to yank him away. However, Ryunosuke puts up a strenuous resistance, groaning in displeasure and hugging Torao tighter; in the end, only a combined effort from Nikaidou and Yaotome makes him lose his grip, so that Torao can finally get up.

“Are you alright? Sorry for him,” Yaotome quickly apologizes.

“Y-Yeah,” Torao stutters out, still feeling a little dizzy. Ryunosuke just laughs and talks nonsense that no one understands.

“Ah, he’s slipping in his _Okinawan_ again,” Nikaidou lightly comments.

“Well, Ryu’s out for tonight,” Yaotome says, furrowing his brow and still holding Ryunosuke by his arm while the other grins at everyone in his drunken stupor. “Better get him home before he does anything else. Sorry again, Mido.”

Torao forces himself to smile.

“It’s fine,” he says, ignoring the sound of his heart pounding in his chest.

“Maybe we should get home, too,” Minami politely interjects. He’s not looking at them, but staring off in the distance. By following his gaze, Torao belatedly realizes he’s looking at Toma, who’s currently engaging in a drinking circle along with Mitsuki, Sogo, and Momo – an explosive mix, really. Yeah, Toma probably needs to be saved, even though he himself might not know. Torao glances at Minami, who seems to be of the same opinion as him.

“I’ll go get Inumaru-san,” Minami says, and before Torao can even blink he’s already gone to Toma’s side. Haruka’s nowhere to be seen, probably somewhere upstairs.

Meanwhile, Ryunosuke has started rambling again and is now apparently holding a real, proper speech in Okinawan; pity that no one here can understand what he’s saying. He must be having fun, though, since he giggles a lot. Nikaidou casts a worried glance at Yaotome.

“Are you going to be alright? Do you want me to call you a taxi?” He says, raising his voice to talk over Ryunosuke’s. Yaotome sighs and covers his face with his free hand.

“ _Please_ ,” he tells Nikaidou, then turns to Ryunosuke. “Ryu, we’re going! Let’s go look for Tenn, okay?”

At that, Ryunosuke happily nods and shouts, “ _Karii!”_ , which could mean he agrees – or not, hard to say. Yaotome gives him an exasperated look, his forehead creasing as he seems to realize that it’s going to be hard to drag Ryunosuke around in the state he’s in. Torao quietly watches them, awkwardly standing around. Unfortunately, he seems to have lost his timing to run away, and now he’s got the bad feeling that he’ll be dragged into it again if he doesn’t leave at once.

“Mido. Sorry to ask you this, but can you keep an eye on him while I go?”

 _Too late._ There it is. Torao tries to think of a way to refuse, but has a hard time coming up for one. Yaotome’s sharp stare makes him slightly nervous.

“Just so you know, Mido, this guy,” Nikaidou says with a wry smile, pointing at Yaotome, “won’t take a no for an answer.”

“Oi, Nikaidou, that’s not—”

“Anyway,” Nikaidou interrupts him, “the taxi’s on his way here. Go grab Kujo, we’ll look after Tsunashi-san for now. Is that okay with you, Mido?” Torao simply nods, knowing he can’t escape this anymore but relieved he’s not alone. Yaotome thanks them both, then turns to Ryunosuke.

“Ryu, I’m going to look for Tenn. Wait here and be good, okay?”

“ _Mensoore! Karii!_ ”

“Fantastic,” Yaotome says, as that somehow makes sense, then turns on his heels and runs to take a hold of Kujo before their ride gets here. As Torao blinks at Ryunosuke in confusion, Nikaidou pats him on the shoulder.

“Leave it. No one really understands what Tsunashi goes on about when he’s like this. Well, except Nagi, probably, but I doubt he’ll accept to serve as a translator here.”

“If you say so… So what do we do now?”

“Let’s start by taking him to the entrance. C’mon, Tsunashi-san.”

“ _Mensoore?_ ”

“Yes, yes, _mensoore_ you too.” Even though Nikaidou just politely dismissed him, Ryunosuke looks happy all the same and does not resist as they drag him to the entrance and forcefully make him wear his jacket. Unfortunately, dressing him up still takes a while since he’s still a big-sized guy, unsteady on his feet to boot. At one point he even trips on his own feet and ends up having to hold on the wall to keep himself upright. His muffler falls to the ground. Torao quickly picks it up and reaches out to put the muffler around his neck himself, even going as far as to make a nice bow he’s a little proud of. Just as he’s about to withdraw his hand, though, Ryunosuke grabs it and holds it still. He’s turned more serious now, watching Torao’s face like he’s trying to crack a code. Torao can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking so hard about. Then Nikaidou fakes a cough, and he’s immediately brought back to reality as he realizes how close they are.

He slaps Ryunosuke’s hand away almost on impulse, feeling bad for it right after, but before any of that can be addressed Yaotome comes back with Kujo in tow, and Ryunosuke starts grinning again. Torao takes advantage of this turn of events to wash his hands off this whole thing, leaving Ryunosuke in his friends’ care. After having thanked them again, Yaotome and Kujo leave to catch their taxi as soon as it arrives. Once they’ve left, silence falls in the entrance.

“I should go check on the others,” Torao says in the end, and Nikaidou simply nods.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

They walk back into the living room, where they find Toma slumped against the table next to Mitsuki and Momo, while Sogo lays asleep on the floor, hugging a sake bottle for dear life. Yuki also seems to have passed out on the sofa. Nagi and Minami, being the only ones in the room still awake and sober, look rather exhausted.

“I’ll wake him up,” Minami mumbles upon seeing Torao approach. Torao nods, sends a message to his driver to come pick them up before going to get Haruka. 

***

A day into work tells Torao everything he needs to know about this job. They’re meant to advertise a men fragrance line that recently came out in three different scents, and apparently the guy in charge thinks nothing works better than having three handsome, almost naked men at hand. As soon as Torao walks out the dressing room, wearing nothing more than tight-fit pants and a black shirt, the director takes one glance at him and then snaps his fingers at someone from the staff.

“Open up his shirt more,” is all he says, and Torao spontaneously bursts into laughter, earning him puzzled looks from the director and the staff member. But never mind that, cause ten minutes later Yaotome and Ryunosuke also walk in and they’re also very undressed, especially Ryunosuke (it’s like, why did they even go through the trouble of dressing him up?).

“Good morning, Torao-kun,” Ryunosuke greets him first, smiling widely. “Let’s work well together!”

“Yeah, let’s do it. Haruka told me not to lose,” Torao lightly says. Yaotome laughs and slaps him on the back, coming on as strong as ever.

“Ah! We’re not losing either!”

“I didn’t know we were competing,” Ryunosuke jokes. His smile falters a little as his eyes fall on Torao’s shirt that’s been ripped open. “What happened to you…?”

Following the other’s line of sight, Torao squints at his own chest and muses, “Oh, this? Apparently, I wasn’t naked enough.” He shrugs and then eloquently gestures at his own body. “Well, that’s why I’m here, right? They didn’t exactly choose me for my talent in acting, I guess.”

“Don’t say that. We filmed with you last year and you were good.”

“Gaku’s right, Torao-kun!” Ryunosuke adds, so genuinely encouraging that Torao can’t help but smile, a little befuddled at thought that they’re both trying to _comfort_ him for some reason - but he doesn’t need to be comforted, does he?

“Yeah, well, thanks. Being chosen for my face is nothing new, though? I do have a beautiful face, after all.”

“You totally sounded like Rokuya right now,” Yaotome says, amused.

Right after that, the director calls them to discuss the details of the project. Since there are three different fragrances - urban cement, sea breeze and pine - they apparently decided to shoot three different versions of the commercials in three different locations, the first one being at the studio they’ve got here. Quickly scanning the schedule they’ve given each of them, Torao realizes the next shoot is going to be at an actual beach. He is going _on a trip_ with TRIGGER.

He can only hope they’re not shooting the pine one on top of a snowy mountain.

***

The first shooting comes to an end without a hitch in only one day, and by the time they’re leaving the studio, they're already planning their little trip to the beach. To Torao's disappointment, they're not going to Okinawa; he would have liked visiting the place Ryunosuke grew up in, however the director doesn’t want to risk having people interfere with their work, so they decide to purposely avoid crowded places altogether. They end up renting a couple of minivans and leaving at 6 a.m. to go to a beach that’s not even a real beach - it’s more like a line of golden sand, merging with a solitary road that seems to flow to the sea like a river. Apparently no one knows this place except for old people living in the nearby countryside, who don’t even listen to the radio or the TV; as such, despite being a large number of people, they go mostly ignored by the locals, with the exception of some old ladies lured by the noise. Blissfully unaware they’re famous idols, the ladies hit it off with them at once. As soon as the old ladies learn that Ryunosuke can iron, they shower him with homemaking advice, which Ryunosuke takes while smiling as kindly as ever. Yaotome is also unexpectedly very gentle, his sharp eyes softening as one of the ladies eagerly offers him candy since he apparently reminds her of her grandson (does it make sense that there are so many Yaotome’s look-alikes in Japan? Torao can’t help but wonder).

They finally start shooting when the sun finally emerges from the sea, embracing the beach in its golden light. Of course, being at the beach, the three of them are mostly undressed. The cameras follow them as they walk down the stone steps, kicking off the shoes and feeling the sand prickling under their toes, pushing hair out of their face when the wind picks up a little. Closer to the sea, the sand is moister and colder. As he stands there, with the sea lapping at his bare feet and the wind flapping his shirt open, Torao can’t help but think it’s a pity that they’re probably going to add music in the montage, thus covering up the natural voice of the sea. There’s something inherently relaxing in the soft sound of the water rippling in waves offshore. They play out by the sea for a while, walking up and down the line of sand and splashing barefooted in the low water; at times the director would tell them to move closer and, as they follow directions as accorded, they inevitably cross each other’s paths several times. It’s all for the cameras, of course, yet Torao feels a bit warm when Ryunosuke playfully rests his arm on his shoulder, acting like they’ve been friends for a lifetime.

At lunchtime they eat on the beach and Torao watches in awe as Ryunosuke carefully unwraps a homemade bento he apparently made himself. Ryunosuke notices his gaze and kindly offers him to share, which is a golden chance Torao simply cannot refuse. Ryunosuke’s cooking is as good as it looks. After that, it’s almost a shame to take a bite of the classy, refined sandwich his chefs made for him. In the afternoon, the director decides to film some solo shots for each of them, starting with Yaotome. Torao and Ryunosuke are left alone to watch; they’re mostly quiet, only exchanging a few comments here and there, but it’s not uncomfortable at all. When Torao’s turn comes around, Ryunosuke smiles encouragingly at him.

As they film him wandering about the beach, the director tells him to imagine himself giving his hand out to some girl, holding hands with her while taking a walk; however, Torao can only think of Ryunosuke’s hand placed on Yaotome’s shoulder as the two talk about something he can’t hear. He pretends he doesn’t care and smiles as he smoothly slips into the lover’s role. When it’s finally Ryunosuke’s turn, Torao can’t help wondering whom he’s thinking about as he watches him extending his hand towards an imaginary girl.

Finally, the shooting as well as the long working day come to an end. By then the old ladies have already left to return to the comfort of their houses, whereas the three of them are still stuck here, waiting for the staff to put away the equipment. Yaotome and Ryunosuke are standing on the road, joking around with each other, and so Torao finds himself gravitating near the sea on his own. As temperatures plummet and the light drains from the sky, the seaside drops into a state of growing darkness; the moon’s far from coming out, and since the light coming from the seaside road is not bright enough to reach, the sea spreads out before his eyes like a pool of black, mysterious and enticing, yet terrifying at the same time. Bundled up in his jacket, Torao stares at the black sea from a safe distance, almost afraid of being pulled, trying to push down a sense of loneliness. In the end, Toma and Minami had to stay out for two whole days, night included, to film, but at least they had each other; Torao wishes he had someone too.

When a strong hand falls on his shoulder, he flinches, taken aback, and casting a subtle glance to his left he’s surprised to find Ryunosuke at his side. He takes a quick look behind their backs - a little further on the road, Yaotome is sitting on the stone steps, bathed in the waning light of a lamp post as he talks on the phone. Torao turns around again and Ryunosuke smiles at him, one hand squeezing his shoulder and the other pointing at something up in the sky.

“Torao-kun, look up,” he says, words spoken softly in the dark. Torao complies and spots tiny freckles of light scattered across the deep purplish mantle of the night - he realizes he’s staring at a sky full of stars to the brim, as simple as that. His chest tightens up, the air sucked out of his lungs, and he finds himself fighting against a sudden, inexplicable urge to cry and laugh at the same time. He slows down his breathing, tries to keep his cool. This is nothing to be moved by; gazing at the stars should be totally normal. Then what is this feeling building up inside him? Once again, he doesn’t understand himself, but still he doesn’t dare to speak, afraid to ruin this unfathomable ‘moment’ they’re having. Ryunosuke doesn’t seem to mind.

“Here you don't have to look too hard to see the stars. Isn't that nice?” He says, giving him one of his gentle, heart-stopping smiles, like he’s trying to comfort him. Torao lowers his gaze at him, quietly wondering if the place where Ryunosuke used to live is as peaceful as this, and chokes up on a feeling of longing towards this place he’s never even been to. Both of them ended up resembling the place they grew up in, and they couldn’t be any more different. The thought saddens him and he forces himself to tear his gaze away from Ryunosuke, painfully aware of Ryunosuke’s warm hand on his shoulder. After that, he lacks the courage to look at him again and the silence stretches between them for what seems like an eternity as any background noise – the rustling sound of waves gently lapping at the sand, the bustling of the staff gathering their equipment, Yaotome’s stifled voice talking on the phone – grows distant.

***

The journey back is long and quiet, but since Torao falls asleep around the middle, it seems to pass in a flash. Be it out of consideration or because they’re also exhausted, Ryunosuke and Yaotome let him sleep soundly and only wake him up when it’s time to go. After dropping them in front of the agency building, the staff briefly exchanges thanks and goodbyes before going separate ways, eager to get home as soon as possible. Left to their own devices, the three of them exchange glances. Yaotome is the first to speak.

“Good job today, Mido. It’s fun working with you,” he says, smiling as he cordially extends a hand to him. Torao takes it. Yaotome’s grip oozes with personality and self-confidence.

“Same here,” Torao grins. “So, you’re going home right away?”

“Yeah, I think so. I’m wiped out. You?”

Torao casts a glance to his phone. It’s only ten p.m. and he doesn’t really want to go home yet.

“Nah. I’m going to take a walk. I slept a bit so I’m good for now.” He pauses, then awkwardly adds, “Well... See ya.” As he’s already turning away, he raises a hand to wave goodbye.

The night’s warm enough as he walks down the road with his shoulders slightly hunched, taking it slow. Unwilling to go home right away, he ponders on what to do and where to go next. He tries to call Toma first, then Minami, but they’re both unavailable (he’s _so_ going to chew them out for this). Haruka’s no good either, since he still can’t drink, which leaves him out of options, really. Maybe it’s true he doesn’t have friends outside his job. He can’t help but feel a bit bummed out as he desperately searches for ways to keep his mind to go back to Ryunosuke and their little moment at the beach. Stargazing with him made him weirdly emotional, almost vulnerable. If he was still his old self, he’d have already picked up some woman, but he has completely stopped doing that since he really got into work, extremely mindful of his and ZOOL’s reputation.

Deep in thought as he is, he only vaguely registers the loud clattering of steps and the voice calling his name behind his back; then Ryunosuke grabs him by the arm, making him turn his way. Swept by the other, Torao’s eyes go wide like perfect circles as he stares at Ryunosuke, wondering what the heck he’s doing there. Ryunosuke gives him a tentative smile, out of breath like he’s run to catch up to him.

“I... was wondering if you wanted to drink something. I’m paying this time?” He asks. Torao doesn’t answer right away, but glances behind Ryunosuke’s back instead; Yaotome, however, has apparently already left, leaving the two of them alone. He shifts his gaze on Ryunosuke again. Being alone with him right now is probably not a good idea, but, seeing the puppy eyes the other’s giving him, he can’t bring himself to say no and lets Ryunosuke take the lead.

To his surprise, Ryunosuke takes him back to the bar he brought him to before. As usual, the bartender shows barely any interest in either of them, which is why they both find the place comfortable. Tonight, though, Torao finds it difficult to relax. He pushes aside his restlessness as he orders a draft beer and gulps it down at once, determined to drink his worries away, or so he tells himself as he orders another. He manages to enjoy it a bit more. Meanwhile, Ryunosuke is taking his time, quietly staring at his glass, shifting his gaze to him at times like he’s checking on him. Torao decides to get something stronger and tells the bartender to pour him a smooth shot of _shōchū_ with ice, although he’s probably going to regret drinking such a strong liquor on an empty stomach. Ryunosuke sends him a concerned look, but before he can stop him, Torao grabs his shot and downs it, leaving only the ice behind. He wrinkles his nose, feeling the sting of tears as the liquor burns his throat and sending him in a cough fit. Ryunosuke hurriedly puts a hand on his back and starts massaging him in an attempt to help. Torao lifts a hand to tell him it’s alright, but Ryunosuke doesn’t look convinced in the slightest; rather, he looks like he wants to say something. Torao waits for it, wondering if he’ll be scolded. Ryunosuke hesitates, biting his lower lip in thought, then finally speaks his mind.

“Don’t you think you drink a little too fast when you’re with me?”

Torao sucks air in. “Maybe,” he mumbles, staring at the ice clinking in his glass. Ryunosuke sighs, conflicted emotions washing over his face.

“Uhm, Torao-kun... How do I say this... Are you upset at something?”

Torao blinks slowly in a haze. _Is_ he upset? He can’t say. He feels like everything will come crashing down if he admits it out loud. A lot of emotions are swirling inside him right now, and he’s still learning about how to let himself just _feel_ things after he spent years suppressing himself. So, maybe he _is_ a little upset. But when he tries to say it out loud, words stay trapped in his throat.

Ryunosuke is watching him with increasing concern, lines creasing between his eyebrows, and Torao realizes his eyes are getting moist and unfocused. He blinks back the tears, but Ryunosuke is already getting up, scrambling to get off his chair.

“This has been a mistake. I should have never brought you here,” he blabbers in his rush and somehow it stings, even though Torao knows he means well. “I’m taking you home right now, c’mon.” Ryunosuke grabs his arm and tries to pull him up, but Torao stubbornly stays glued to his seat, planting both of his feet to the ground.

“No,” he says, his voice brittle and choked. He thinks of his excessively spacious apartment that feels hollow and ghostly in the pale, silver-blue light of the moon slipping in from the crack of windows. “No. I don’t want to go yet.”

“You’re not well.”

“I’m not going to be better if I go home now.”

He doesn’t intend to force Ryunosuke to stay, but these are his honest feelings. Ryunosuke looks at him for a long time; Torao doesn’t know what he’s seeing, but after a while, Ryunosuke gives in to his selfishness and finally falls back down again, although he sits on the edge like he’s ready to go at any time. When Torao tries to order another shot, Ryunosuke grabs his hand and lowers it while also gesturing to the bartender to stay away, fully intent on not making him drink any more than he already has. Ryunosuke looks so firm that Torao gets the message loud and clear and doesn’t try to order more. Instead, he finds himself staring at Ryunosuke’s hand, firmly grasped around his own. As his eyes slowly follow the curve of his knuckles, he’s suddenly reminded of the night Ryunosuke held his hands and told him they were beautiful. It’s funny how their positions are totally reversed now. His head is swimming, and before he can think better of it, he’s already turning his hand in the grip, making it palm to palm, fingers brushing together. He catches Ryunosuke wincing and tilting his chin down, his cheeks dusted with red as his eyes widen a little in surprise. After a moment, Ryunosuke lightly squeezes his hand.

“What’s wrong?” Ryunosuke asks, his voice barely a breath. He lifts his eyes and looks at him from under his eyelashes, and Torao is reminded once again of why people just love being around this guy – he’s got that _look_ , the one that promises comfort and healing without asking for a price. It makes you want to open up to him, to entrust yourself to him, even. But to Torao, that’s not all there is. He finally gets it now, that these feelings – feelings _for_ Ryunosuke – have been here for a while and they’re not going to go away.

“It’s too much,” he chokes. “People expecting something from me… But I’m no good.”

Ryunosuke’s gaze softens.

“But you’re changing, Torao-kun,” he whispers back. Torao sighs.

“My family never _really_ expected anything from me. But strangers asked things from me. And I got tired of trying to guess what they wanted.” He cannot bring himself to stop, though he knows he should. He’s just so tired. “And now I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to give people what they want... People expect things from me, and it’s all I’ve ever wanted, but I’m...” _Scared,_ he thinks, and stops in his tracks because he doesn’t want to admit that. Ryunosuke has been looking at him all along, and he doesn’t know how to read the look on his face.

“You’ve been lonely all this time,” Ryunosuke whispers, almost pained, like he himself has just realized it. That’s when Torao finally crumbles, overcome by a sudden dizziness that takes away his ability to form sentences along with the energy to keep himself steady. Alarmed, Ryunosuke instinctively reaches out to him, encircling his shoulders with one arm and pulling him closer until Torao leans his head against his shoulder; if they weren’t sitting on different chairs, he would probably be on his lap by now. However embarrassing it is, he does nothing to pull away, feeling boneless and weak all of sudden.

“Okay, we’re leaving,” he hears Ryunosuke say. His lips are so close to his ear that his breath tickles. “Torao-kun? Are you still awake? I’ll take you home, but you have to tell me where you live.” In response to this, Torao tries to speak, but his tongue feels furred and nothing leaves his mouth, so he turns his head and snuggles further in Ryunosuke’s shoulder, frustrated. Ryunosuke would never leave him there, for sure; so it should be fine to lean on him for a bit. Just a bit, he keeps telling himself. Just a bit, then he’ll let go. He can always blame it all on the alcohol later.

Tired and empty-headed, he lets out a long-suffering sigh, eases up his grip on the counter and squeezes Ryunosuke’s arm instead; whatever Ryunosuke says in return is lost to his ears as his thoughts become more and more muddled and his sight quickly grows dark.

***

Afterward, when he wakes up in an unfamiliar room, suffering from a hangover and partially from a memory loss, Torao finally realizes how much he messed up.

His head starts hurting as soon as he opens his eyes, making him groan and turn around to lie on his stomach so that he can bury his face in the pillow. He reaches out one arm from under the covers and fishes for his phone to check the hour; then, seeing as he can’t find it, he slowly gets up on his elbows at last, finding it surprisingly difficult as there is something weighing on his lower back and preventing him from getting up. Baffled, he cracks one eye open, glances behind his back and barely chokes a surprised sound as his eyes fall on Ryunosuke's figure. Now he’s fully awake, that’s for sure. Ryunosuke’s arm weights on his side, his fingers lingering just above his waist as he is apparently spooning him, and it’s purely out of sheer will that Torao doesn’t jump out of the bed since that would definitely wake Ryunosuke and he definitely doesn’t want to deal with that right now. Suppressing his panic, he manages to sit up and move Ryunosuke's arm as carefully as possible to get free. He goes very still when Ryunosuke groans and stirs in his sleep, only to settle down again in a few seconds, hugging the pillow instead of him. Torao quickly lifts the covers and glances at their bodies; to his relief, they’re both fully dressed. He’s still wearing what he wore the day before.

Frowning, he searches through his memories from the night before. He remembers going out to drink with Ryunosuke, but definitely not getting into his bed – that must have happened later, after he got so drunk he couldn't even walk on his own. He vaguely remembers Ryunosuke asking him where he lived, but since he never really gave him an answer, Ryunosuke must have brought him to his own place instead. He must have also thought that sleeping together was not a big deal. Except that _it is_ , because now all Torao can think about is how Ryunosuke probably hugged him all through the night and, in spite of his long dating history, he feels blood rushing through his face at the mere thought.

Then he breaks into cold sweat as it suddenly occurs to him that Ryunosuke doesn't live alone. He needs to get out at once. Still feeling nauseous and light-headed, he slips out of bed as quickly and quietly as possible, looks for his bag and finally finds his phone. After hurriedly messaging his driver, telling him to come to pick him up at the given address, he puts on his shoes and jacket, grabs his bag and tiptoes to the door. Steeling himself, he carefully opens the door, hoping that neither Kujo or Yaotome is around, but fortunately no one seems to be home, or maybe they're still asleep. Either way is good for him since he gets the green light, so he flees out of the apartment without even turning to check if Ryunosuke's still sleeping or not.

He dashes to the elevator, then, finding that it's already taken, to the stairs, his mind still reeling from last night's disaster and his feelings a juggling mess as he tries not to think about how he basically ended up as Ryunosuke’s sleeping pillow for the night.

At the end of the stairs, he’s shocked to find himself face to face with Yaotome, who’s waiting for the elevator to come down with a cup of coffee and a bag of bagels. As their eyes meet, Yaotome blinks behind the dark lens of his sunglasses, clearly taken aback.

“Mido? What are you doing here?”

Torao fumbles for excuses, then just says the first thing that comes to mind.

“You got the wrong person, I’m not as handsome as him! Bye!”

Yaotome furrows his eyebrows and opens his mouth, but Torao doesn’t stop to listen to what he has to say, too busy running for his life. To his relief, his driver is waiting for him outside, so he swiftly gets in the car, slams the door behind him and tells the other to drive him home at once, feeling like a fugitive. Only when they’re moving, Torao settles on his seat and tries to catch his breath, but he doesn’t manage to relax until the building’s out of sight.

***

The week that follows is a nightmare. It might go without a say that there’s a good probability to meet Ryunosuke at work, being both in the entertainment business and idols and all, but Torao still puts all of his efforts into avoiding him at any time any place. Ryunosuke sent a couple of messages through rabitchat over the week, but Torao never answered, telling himself he would whenever he felt ready to. Of course, he never feels ready.

He knows this can’t go on. For one thing, he still needs to film the third part of the commercial and see this job through, so he’ll have to meet Ryunosuke, eventually. His mind knows that, but still refuses to act accordingly.

Unlocking his phone, he stares at his rabichat log for a long time, then starts to type some excuses like, ‘Sorry, i was busy’, but it sounds fickle even to him, so he deletes it all and locks off his phone again, leaning his head against the table with a sigh. Whenever he thinks about that night and the morning after, he wants to hide himself in shame and his stomach churns painfully. There are also things he doesn’t understand - the closeness, the intimacy. He felt something there, between them, but he can’t be too sure. Isn’t Ryunosuke simply nice to everyone? What if he only was nice to him out of pity, but really thought he was pathetic?

“He’s here again? Okay, that’s it. I’m talking to him.”

“Yeah! That’s the spirit, Haru! Counting on ya.”

“Do be careful, Isumi-san. He looks pitiful.”

Deep in his thoughts, he vaguely registers his group mates whispering about him among themselves until Haruka steals his phone right from under his nose. Torao looks up in surprise, then snaps forward to try and take his phone back, but Haruka keeps it out of his reach, taking advantage of the table between them. Torao frowns at him.

“What the hell are you doing? Give it back. I’m not in the mood for this,” he draws out, but Haruka ignores him.

“Why are you here?”

“What do you mean? This is our dressing room.”

“Yes! And you’re just on time—no, scratch that, you even arrived _early!_ You’ve been off for the past week, too! What the hell is wrong with you?”

Torao leans back in his chair, annoyed and confused. “You’re not making any sense. I thought you all wanted me to be on time,” he points out. 

“Okay, but that’s weird!” Haruka bites his lip and starts counting on his fingers. “And there’s more. You spend all the time moping around in the dressing room, your head’s always in the clouds and you’re jumpy all the time. It’s so gross! Go back to how you were before!”

“That’s so dramatic,” Torao mumbles, glancing away as he worriedly runs a hand through his hair. “Is it really that bad?”

“I’m afraid so, Mido-san. You’ve been weirdly out of it all week,” Minami answers, drawing closer to the table. Toma follows suit.

“Yeah! We’re worried for you. If you have any problem, we’ll listen, right, guys?” he says enthusiastically and looks at Minami and Haruka. Both of them look a little embarrassed at his suggestion, but they don’t deny his words. Torao lets out a sigh.

“What if,” he pauses, then slowly continues, “what if you made a mess of something for which you can’t really apologize for?”

“Is this about a woman? Because if it is, I’m out,” Haruka groans.

Torao bitterly laughs and shakes his head. As long as he dated women, he never apologized for anything he did or said. He only ever dated people who were only after his money or his looks; that’s why he doesn’t know what to act around someone who’s totally different from that. He never thought of himself as bad at dealing with people, but maybe he is.

“If it’s not about a woman, then is this about a _friend?_ ” Minami makes a polite guess, and something in the way he said ‘friend’ tells Torao that he _knows_ , maybe he knew even before he did. Feeling naked and vulnerable, Torao feels a knot in his throat.

“Yeah. I made a fool of myself in front of him,” he mutters. For a moment, the dressing room is quiet; then, Haruka slowly speaks up.

“So what?”

Torao glances at him. Haruka puts a hand on his hip and calmly looks at him.

“You made a fool of yourself around us more times than we can count. There’s no need to apologize for every little thing. Because we know that you’re awkward when it comes to these things… Because we’re always together, we know,” he says as Torao stares at him, speechless. Although he’s the youngest, at times Haruka surprises him by being wiser than anyone.

“Haru’s right. Friends don’t need things like that. If you’re close to someone, they just know who you are. And if you’re not close, you just have to show them!” Toma grins at him. “It’s not like you to be so timid, Tora! You are usually brash and rude and proud. Charge ahead like you always do and show them who you are, and if they don’t like you, it’s their loss.”

“If they have anything to tell you, please give me their number. I just want to talk,” Minami adds sweetly. Torao stares at all three of them, then bursts out laughing. Smiling so much his cheeks hurt, he finally feels himself relaxing.

“Sure, I’ll do that,” he says, then stretches his hand out to Haruka. “Can I have my phone back, now?” Haruka snorts, but complies, and Torao stares at the locked screen for a moment, debating whether to write to Ryunosuke or wait a little bit more. In the end, he slips his phone into his bag, telling himself he’ll sort it out later since he needs to focus on work now. He stands up and thoroughly fixes his hair in front of a mirror; soon after, someone from the staff comes to knock on their door to inform them that they are to get ready.

“We’re born ready,” Toma smiles warmly. “Let’s go show them!”

They leave together as one to perform their best songs live on TV and, as he baths in the applause and the cheering of their fans, Torao’s worries all fly out of the window. Whenever he performs with these guys, he only tastes victory and excitement; whatever happens next, it’s definitely going to be alright.

***

It’s probably _not_ going to be alright.

Unless he’s hallucinating, in fact, Ryunosuke is waiting right there across the street, wearing his usual disguise but perfectly recognizable to him. Spotting him as soon as they step out of the building to get home, Torao breaks in cold sweat and abruptly stops in his tracks. Despite what he told the others, he’s in no way ready to meet Ryunosuke yet. 

“Tora? What’re ya staring at?” Toma asks him, even waving a hand in front of his face, but all Torao can think of is that he is too loud and that Ryunosuke’s going to hear — and sure enough, Ryunosuke’s eyes are already on them at the mere mention of his name. Warning bells sound in his head as their eyes meet across the street and Ryunosuke starts moving towards him.

Torao goes blank. “I, uhm,” his voice trails off, “I need to go now…”

Toma and Haruka blink at him, slow on the uptake, while Minami immediately looks up, understanding seeping in his expression as soon as he spots Ryunosuke, too. He turns back to Torao, his eyes deadly serious as he whispers, “Do you want us to stay?”

Torao really thinks about it. He can tell Minami’s throwing him a lifeline to hold onto. It’d be so easy to agree and just walk away; he’d simply need to leave with them right now. But that would only complicate things more, and Ryunosuke is already crossing the street. Torao clutches the leather strap of his bag and subtly casts a glance to Minami.

“It’s fine,” he whispers back to him, and Minami just nods before grabbing both Toma and Haruka and forcefully pushing them out of the way while they’re still catching up to the situation. Thankfully, Minami manages to persuade them to go by saying he will explain everything later, and so with that they leave and Torao finds himself alone with Ryunosuke, who’s now standing barely five feet apart from him, still looking straight at him.

They stare at each other for a moment more; then, seeing that the others won’t come back, Ryunosuke draws closer and grabs his arm like he’s afraid of Torao running away again.

“I’m… I’m sorry if I seem pushy. I kind of remembered your schedule, and since you weren’t replying to my messages, I decided to come,” he says, a little breathless.

Torao blinks at him, surprised, more than anything, by the fact Ryunosuke knows his schedule. He didn’t realize Ryunosuke paid that much attention to him. Ryunosuke seems to take his silence wrong and lowers his gaze, flustered.

“I just... I want to know if I did something,” he says. “Listen, if I did anything that made you uncomfortable, I… I want to say I’m sorry. You’re clearly avoiding me, and I don’t even need to know why, if you don’t want to tell me, but I want things to go back to how they were before. Let’s just... go somewhere and talk, alright?”

Torao frowns. “Why are _you_ apologizing? I should be the one that…” He stops when he meets Ryunosuke’s pleading eyes and changes his mind. Who can say no to a look like that? He lets out a long exhale. “Alright. Come to my place,” he says. “We’ll talk.”

***

The first thing Torao does as soon as they step inside his apartment, right after turning on the lights, is going to his drinks cabinet and opening it.

“Do you want a drink? I have some good stuff—”

“No, no, thank you. I’m alright,” Ryunosuke gently cuts him off. Torao stares at the cabinet a moment longer, pondering whether to make a drink for himself at least, but he really needs to stay sober. He slowly closes the cabinet and makes his way to the balcony instead, slides the door open and basks in the fresh evening air. It feels like all the air was sucked out of his apartment the very moment Ryunosuke stepped in.

Casting a subtle glance in his direction, Torao notices Ryunosuke awkwardly standing behind him, his eyes wandering about the room and his fingers fiddling with the buttons of his jacket. Maybe Ryunosuke is nervous, too, after all. But then he is stepping on the balcony too, and Torao has to quickly look away to avoid eye contact. Ryunosuke glances at the darkened sky, then quietly says, “So that’s where you live… It’s nice.” He hesitates a bit. “I’m sorry I forced you to bring me here, really… I didn’t know what else to do. It’s not just me, right? You have been avoiding me lately, haven’t you?”

Torao takes a deep breath and cautiously leans on the balcony railing, attempting to look as casual as possible — he knows he’s just slipping in his old habits again, but he can’t help it. Acting like he doesn’t care as much as he does is the only self-defense mechanism he owns.

“Is it—is it because of what happened last time we went drinking?” Ryunosuke awkwardly continues. “I’m… sorry I didn’t get you home properly, but I didn’t know your address and you were already kind of sleeping, so… But of course, it’s no excuse, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable in any way. Sorry!” And as soon as the last word is out of his mouth, he abruptly bows his head and claps his hands together in apology. Torao shrugs and forces himself to smile.

“Well, it was,” he clears his throat, “it was a surprise to wake up there. But you don’t really owe me an apology. If I was uncomfortable, that was on me, not on you.”

“But Gaku said you rushed out of—”

“Had something I really needed to do.” _That is, getting out of there._ So he didn’t manage to fool Yaotome after all. He needs to practice that technique more. Ryunosuke frowns and stares at him, not persuaded at all.

“Then, why were you…” He trails off and sends him a cautious look, afraid of offending him by pushing too much, but too stubborn to let it go.

“I told you, that’s on me,” Torao scoffs, but Ryunosuke doesn’t stop pressing.

“Please. Don’t force yourself to smile.”

At that Torao’s smile does, in fact, falter a little. He tries to laugh it off, but his heart isn’t in it and his voice trails off in the end. Still leaning forward, he glances at Ryunosuke quietly, marveling at how serious he looks right now — he can’t fathom why this is so important to him, but it makes him want to be honest out of respect for his feelings. Honestly, there’s something about Ryunosuke that just keeps pulling him in, no matter how much he denies it. It’d be so easy to just give in, and Torao is too tired to keep fighting it.

“I’m just… I kind of showed you something embarrassing,” he mutters as he nervously runs his fingers through his hair. “I… I was feeling stressed, so I unloaded a lot of personal stuff on you, and it wasn’t really fair. You must have thought I was an idiot. Hell, even _I_ _think_ I was an idiot. So I think I should be apologizing to you, really.”

“I don’t think you’re an idiot,” Ryunosuke says, softly.

“That’s awfully nice of you, but yeah, I am.” Torao shakes his head and stands back, looking up at the sky. “You know, I’ve never seen many stars in Tokyo… I thought you just couldn’t see any. But no matter how bright the city is, maybe you can see them if you look carefully. I just… didn’t know, because I was always looking down.” He feels his eyes burning.

“Torao-kun,” Ryunosuke says, but Torao can’t look at him right now, or else he might start crying for real, and that’d be just pathetic, wouldn’t it? He looks away, trying to hide his face with one hand as he starts blabbering.

“Sorry, I’m doing it again, right? Sorry, I didn’t want—”

“Torao-kun,” Ryunosuke cuts him short, calling his name again in such a firm and gentle voice that he feels compelled to answer. He turns towards him and, when he does, Ryunosuke slips his hand on the back of his head and pulls him in for a kiss.

It feels confusing and foreign and unexpected, like suddenly being dragged under the water. Ryunosuke’s mouth is warm and dry and leaves almost too soon to actually taste the kiss. Torao gasps, his eyes comically wide as he rocks backwards and bumps his back against the door frame.

“I thought you said you’d never forgive me,” he blurts out. Ryunosuke lets out a long sigh.

“I did. But this is different,” he whispers, then closes the gap between them once more, kissing him hard as he presses him against the door frame, and suddenly all Torao can think about is how hot Ryunosuke’s mouth feels. Despite the fierceness of the kiss, Ryunosuke still manages to be kind – he cradles his face gently in his hands, thumbs slowly caressing his cheeks as he angles himself to deepen the kiss, and Torao is suddenly struck by the though he’s never been kissed _like this_ in his whole life. This is the very first kiss someone’s given him without expecting anything in return; Ryunosuke doesn’t care about money or reputation, and if he doesn’t have any ulterior motive, then… there is a slight possibility that he’s doing it simply because he wants to.

The thought that Ryunosuke wants to kiss him is almost as intoxicating as the kiss itself.

When they both emerge for air, Ryunosuke pushes Torao’s hair out of his face, gently running his fingers through messy locks to tuck them behind his ears, and though it’s ridiculously sappy, Torao can’t seem to mind at all. If anything, he’s more confused about _how_ they got to this point. He really should be thinking harder about this whole ordeal, but somehow all he can focus about is Ryunosuke’s mouth right in front of him; he forces himself to tear his gaze away, flustered and seized by the impulse of hiding what he’s thinking. Ryunosuke carefully cradles his face again.

“What are you… thinking?” He asks earnestly, his voice low and laced with concern, but Torao keeps his eyes on the ground, his face growing hot. Having Ryunosuke so close makes him feel uncharacteristically shy. _Damn, Minami was right._ It’s kind of ironic that he only realizes how much that is true now – with the worst timing ever. He’s not used to being swooned himself.

“Torao-kun?”

“I’m,” he stumbles upon words, “I’m not sure. What should I think?”

Ryunosuke chuckles a little and it’s a soft, warm sound.

“Why are you asking me? I can’t tell you that,” he says, abashed. “I’m sorry if I rushed you. You can take your time, but, huh, you know...” He pauses for a second, like he’s struggling with words, too. His cheeks also turn red. “Well... you did kiss me back. So can I take that as a good sign, at least?” He sounds so hopeful that Torao can’t believe his ears.

“Why… Why did you do _that?_ I’m not... good for you. I thought it was already a miracle we were getting along... I don’t understand.” He still can’t bring himself to look Ryunosuke in the eye.

“Well, it’s true that you haven’t always been ‘good’. And you did some things I’ll never forgive you for. I won’t tell you not to worry about it.” Ryunosuke’s words rightfully sting, but at the same time his firm, gentle hold on his face tells him he’s not finished yet.

“To be honest, I struggled with it quite a bit,” Ryunosuke says, “but at some point, I started to see the real you, and I realized that I sincerely wanted to be your friend. I wanted to believe in you... to believe that you have changed, Torao-kun”.

“The real me?”

At those words, Torao finally looks at him and, to his surprise, Ryunosuke smiles.

“Ah, you finally looked at me again,” he says. Torao furrows his brow, blushing.

“Wait, but you want to be friends? Then why—”

“I, huh, want to,” Ryunosuke interjects, although shyly. “I really want to. But, ah, somewhere along the way... seeing as you started opening up to me, it just kind of occurred to me that you can be surprisingly cute, and so... in the end, it became like this.”

Torao stares at him, lost for words as he tries to take everything in; maybe something got lost in translation, however, because it still doesn’t make any damn sense to him. Ryunosuke might as well be speaking Okinawan right now.

“You think... I’m cute...?” He mumbles, looking even more puzzled when Ryunosuke nods.

“Yeah. I _like_ you, Torao-kun. I mean, not just as a friend, but I don’t want to pressure you.”

It really doesn’t make any sense. Still, he wants to believe in it a little bit.

That’s why before he can think twice about it he’s already reaching for Ryunosuke’s hand, pulling him inside his living room and towards the sofa; then he pushes him down and takes hold of his shoulders and kisses him again. Maybe he’s trying to find answers by kissing him again. Or maybe he simply wants to keep kissing him, who cares. His whole body catches on fire as Ryunosuke starts kissing back at once. Kissing him feels like drowning in foreign seas, swept by the stream but lulled by the water all the same. Soon he finds himself running his fingers through Ryunosuke’s hair, carding his fingers in to pull him a bit closer, and his whole body’s set on fire when he hears – feels – Ryunosuke moan into the kiss, cause it tells him he’s doing something right. He’s never felt so insecure about anyone before, never doubted his own charm or his kissing skills, but he’s also never wanted to please a person so much in his life, so it’s understandable. Right now though – right now all he wants is to make Ryunosuke feel good. And he’s not the only one who wants to be closer, as close as possible, if Ryunosuke’s hands clutching at his shirt are any indication. Seconds pass, then minutes. They separate once, gasping for air, then Ryunosuke grabs his chin in his hand and claims his lips again, hungrily kissing him, then he gradually slows down until they’re sharing only a soft, gentle kiss that has Torao positively melting against him. This kiss is filled with promises. Ryunosuke is gently stroking his cheek with his thumb and _oh,_ if it feels nice. He could do this for hours. He knows his face’s red, and he can’t use the cold as an excuse anymore – it’s more the fact that they’re alone, on his sofa, and kissing to top it all. What an unexpected way to end the day.

When they come apart once again, Ryunosuke cards his fingers through his hair and pushes them back, only to lean forward and place a kiss on his temple; his mouth then moves to speak to his ear, his lips brushing against his earlobe.

“So,” Ryunosuke whispers in a low, sweet voice, “you won’t avoid me anymore?”

Torao gulps and tries to string words coherently together a few times, then he just nods, his thoughts all jumbled up and in disarray. 

“I… didn’t know you were this pushy,” he mumbles. Ryunosuke smiles, a little apologetic.

“Sorry if I was pushy. I thought you’d avoid me forever if I didn’t call out to you first,” he says, which is fair enough, since it’s probably true. “You seem to think I’m this perfect, selfless person, but I’m really not. I can be pretty selfish about the things I want, too.”

Torao wants to say he doesn’t get it, that it feels like a lie told to comfort him, except that Ryunosuke has never lied to him; so maybe what he should ask is, ‘selfish how?’, since he can’t really picture Ryunosuke as selfish.

“I like you,” he says dumbly instead. Ryunosuke smiles brightly.

“I was kinda hoping for it,” he says, pulling him into a tight hug, and Torao thinks that maybe being a little lame is worth it if Ryunosuke looks this happy. Things will be hard, but this feeling is one he wants to keep. He also feels a little bad that he’s probably going to keep him up late tonight, but not bad enough not to pull him in again.

***

As it turns out, the last commercial shot isn't taken in a forest or on top of a mountain, like Torao has been dreading; the director found a big, private garden instead, and they only had to travel for an hour or so to get there by car. Once they're there, surrounded by green and showered in sunlight, they take a lot of group photos first, then move onto the solo shots. It's a beautiful day; the sun is bright and warm on their skin, enough to get sunburnt if they're not careful, but still pleasant.

Sitting on a bench while resting after his own turn, Torao watches as Ryunosuke walks through the garden, effortlessly looking like some sexy god of nature. Though he looks great whatever he does, Torao still thinks he fits the marine imaginary more.

His heart lurches when their eyes suddenly meet, and Ryunosuke smiles openly at him, his eyes gently half-lidded, his hair slightly ruffled, with a touch of golden light. Torao feels himself melting at once.

"Oi, you okay over there? Your face is red. Maybe the sun's getting to you," Yaotome worriedly points out, lowering his sunglasses to take a good look at him. Despite how warm the sun is, he's wearing a long-sleeved shirt and a hat to avoid sunburn.

"Maybe so," Torao mutters, pathetically covering his flushed face with one hand as he sinks a little more against the bench.

***

One day, he goes knocking at the door of Shiro’s office all by himself. Shiro’s eyes visibly lit up upon seeing him, looking nothing short of delighted at this unexpected visit.

“Torao-kun? Come on in,” he says, giving a kind smile. “I’m happy you came.”

“Aren’t you busy?”

“I’m always free for you guys. So, what do you need?” As he speaks, Shiro quickly puts aside whatever he’s been working on and gestures for him to sit down. Although a tad anxious, Torao closes the door and sits down. Shiro looks at him, his eyes glimmering with expectations, making him feel even more nervous.

He takes a deep breath; then, gathering himself, he decides to go straight to the point.

“Well, there’s actually something I want to try out...”

***

By the time he's finished, the sky is already turning to lavender. A long sigh escapes his lips as soon as he gets out of the building. He’s never faced such a hurdle before - his hands are shaking a little and there was even a moment where he really thought his legs would give way beneath him (they luckily didn't). Despite still feeling a little unnerved, the sight of Ryunosuke, all bundled up and red-faced from the cold, waiting for him outside is a balm for his mind. Ryunosuke quickly notices him and gives him a smile; as soon as their eyes meet, though, he seems to sense that there’s something going on. As such, after checking their surroundings, he draws near, lightly bumping Torao’s shoulder with his.

“Hey,” he whispers, “you okay?”

Torao tiredly smiles and nods.

“Yeah, just… long day. More importantly, I want to ask you out.”

Ryunosuke clearly hesitates.

“Sorry, I… I only came to walk you home," he says, a little sad. "To be honest, I might not be able to drink tonight cause I’ve got work tomorrow. So maybe next time…”

“Nah, it’s all good. I’m not taking you out to drink tonight."

Ryunosuke blinks at him, confused.

“Really? Where are we going, then?”

Torao’s smile brightens a bit.

“Oh, I’ll lead the way. It’s going to be the best date you’ve ever had, trust me.”

***

The amusement park looks like a wholly different place at night. Most of the attractions are closed, and the only lights playing in the dark come from the lampposts scattered all around. There are no kids at this time, but at times you could catch some teenagers dating or messing about in the streets of the park; at times, the cups merry-go-round will start turning enveloped in colorful lights, while a soft tune plays in the chilly evening breeze.

The song’s on when he gets out of the taxi right in front of the park south entrance.

Needless to say, two guys his size look totally out of place in such an environment; ironically, however, this is the place where Torao feels most peaceful. Whenever he feels drained, this is the place he wants to go to the most.

They slowly make their way through to the stage where the Usamimi characters’ show usually plays out, the song growing distant behind his back. Once they arrive, Torao looks around for somewhere to sit on and quickly sets his eyes on a bench not too far from the stage. He plops down there and gestures for his companion to sit beside him, but Ryunosuke appears to be still catching up to the situation, pacing up and down as he takes the setting in.

“Usamini Friends Park?” He says at last, turning towards him. Seeing him wear such a puzzled expression, Torao huffs a laugh.

“Yeah, Usamimi Friends Park. A little slow on the uptake, huh?”

“Sorry, I’m just… a bit surprised, I guess.”

“It doesn’t really suit me, does it? But I like this place.” Torao glances fondly at the stage that he can see all too well from where he’s sitting.

“This park’s got rabbit characters, y’know? They’re just like heroes, and I like coming here and watching the show. Bet those Izumi siblings would love it.”

Ryunosuke laughs softly.

“You really like heroes, don’t you, Torao-kun,” he says, finally sitting next to him. There’s no hint of mocking in his words; instead his voice is gentle and loving, if not a little careful.

He’s likely still wondering if something happened ever since Torao asked to see him, but despite being worried he hasn’t inquired anything the whole time they stayed together - rather, it seems that he’s waiting for Torao to bring it up on his own, which Torao’s grateful for. It’s not like he doesn’t want to tell him; he just wants to take his time doing it, and Ryunosuke gets it.

“Well, yeah, heroes are cool. I always enjoyed watching hero shows, ever since I was just a kid. I even brought Toma and the others here on my birthday, once.” He pauses, looking up at the sky as he lets those happy memories replay in his head. “I’d never spent a birthday like that before, but it was fun… Thinking back on it, that was the first time I enjoyed my birthday as an adult.”

Ryunosuke doesn’t say anything, but keeps listening to him without interrupting, like he genuinely cares. At some point, he quietly reaches out and holds on to his hand, gently rubbing his knuckles with his thumb. It’s such a simple gesture, yet so loving and reassuring that it’s almost hard to focus. Torao draws in a shaky breath, lets it out, then continues.

“I’m sorry to talk about personal stuff again, but… honestly, I want you to know. I grew up thinking everything and everyone could be priced, even myself, and that pushed me into a corner. I mean, I was sheltered a lot, but no one really _listened_ to what I wanted. No one seemed to care about who I really was, or what I really liked, so I started losing confidence in that, too,” he says, then bitterly laughs it off . “Ryo—I mean, Tsukumo told me I was ‘the very embodiment of an idol’. That my whole life was an act. And for a long time, it felt like it was. I mean, I don’t really mind getting jobs just for my face or cause I look good… It’s just that I don’t want to do only that anymore, you know? I don’t want to suppress what I like anymore… I think my fans really care about me, so I want them to know. I want them to like me for who I really am.”

“I’m sure they will,” Ryunosuke says, fondly squeezing his hand. Torao casts him a sidelong glance, then takes Ryunosuke’s hand in his and shifts closer to him, lightly bumping their shoulders together.

“Yeah. I want to be honest with myself too… that’s why I took the first step,” he takes a deep breath – a long, dramatic pause. A nervous smile sticks to his face as he notices Ryunosuke’s looking at him with anticipation.

“You know the sentai anime scheduled for this spring? I’ve just auditioned as a voice actor.” Ryonosuke’s eyes widen and shine with excitement.

“What? Really? That’s so cool, Torao-kun! I think you’ll do really well!”

“Is that so? Well, I don’t know how it went. It was nerve-wracking and I just... blanked out and switched to autopilot, I guess” He laughs. “I don’t know if my acting was any good, though, and it’s even a job where people won’t see my face at all, so my looks aren’t gonna help this time.”

“I’m sure it was. You like sentai so much, and you have a beautiful voice.”

“Hmm,” Torao hums, a little flustered, but he can’t help the pleased smile playing on his lips. “Well, even if they don’t cast me, I’m glad I did it anyway. I had fun learning the lines. And now I also know that you like my voice. Not so bad, if you ask me.”

Ryunosuke breathes out a soft, happy laughter, but doesn’t deny it. He lovingly rests his head over his, and they stay like this for a while, just quietly watching the park lights. Before long, Torao finds himself watching Ryunosuke’s profile instead.

“Hey... can I take you home with me?”

His voice is barely a whisper into the night, so soft that it might have not even reached.

Ryunosuke squeezes his hand one more.

“Yes,” he whispers back. “Please do.”

***

The moment Ryunosuke steps into his apartment, Torao is already all over him, pressing him against the closed door and pushing his fingers in his hair and kissing him openmouthed and wet and warm. Ryunosuke gasps in the kiss. It’s a little cute. For a second, Torao wonders if he wasn’t too hasty, but Ryunosuke quickly adjusts to his boldness and begins running his hands down his sides as he tries to get his shirt out of his pants just enough to slip his calloused fingers against his bare skin. When he finally succeeds, he slowly traces his hip bones and then grabs his waist, pulling him closer against his own body. Torao can’t say he minds. He separates from him for a moment to look at the mess he made – thanks to him, Ryunosuke’s hair is all messed up, with soft locks of brown hair falling over his face instead of being pushed up like usual, his cheeks are dusted with pink and his lips look red and wet. Ryunosuke stares back at him, breathless and confused as to why they stopped, his golden eyes darkened, sharp and a little wild. Torao’s face breaks into a proud grin, and the next moment Ryunosuke is bringing him closer again, eliciting a groan from both of them when their bodies collide. Their foreheads lightly touch and their breaths mingle with each other. Ryunosuke lets out a frustrated sound.

“I have to go to bed early,” he mumbles cutely, looking at him with half-lidded eyes. Torao laughs, taking him by the hand and gently leading him towards the bedroom; he makes him sit on the edge of the bed, and Ryunosuke blinks at him, quizzical and a little hopeful.

“You wanted to go to sleep, didn’t you?” Torao says, and softly laughs at Ryunosuke’s conflicted expression. However, Ryunosuke soon realizes that he’s being teased and his features soften up as he draws Torao in, quietly inviting him to lie together; once they’re comfortable enough, he kisses him again, licking into his warm mouth and sliding his tongue against his, eliciting a moan out of him. Despite being quite experienced, Torao’s not used to this – kissing that only leads to more kissing, warmth inviting more warmth without seeking more. Heat pools in his stomach and chest, and he groans out his partner’s name as Ryunosuke gently bites his lips. Snuggling closer to him, Torao places a hand on his chest, feeling his heart pounding under his fingers. As they exchange one kiss after another to quell their thirst, their thoughts start to melt away until they slow down, their movements growing sluggish. They fleetingly kiss again as Ryunosuke’s hand touches the side of his face, softly tracing his cheekbone with his thumb. His touch is so soothing that Torao thinks he never wants him to stop, flustered and surprised upon realizing how touch-starved he is. Relying on others for comfort is something he never felt natural, but maybe it's what he's been craving all along.

In the end Ryunosuke quietly places a kiss on his temple and bids him good night in a whisper. They’re still fully dressed and the two-size bed looks strangely small when it has to fit two large guys their age, but Ryunosuke doesn’t seem to care about any of that. Perhaps _this_ is him being selfish (Torao sure hopes so, because it makes him feel special. He loves being special). After Ryunosuke has closed his eyes, the room becomes quiet. Torao does not speak. He can’t speak. His eyes are pricking with tears, but he doesn’t want to make a fuss about it. There’s no way to tell whether Ryunosuke noticed or not: either way, he doesn’t say anything more and his breath gradually quiets down. After a while, Torao tilts his chin up and, finding him asleep, he stares at his handsome face for a while – he looks even more innocent in his sleep, and even eye bags, a clear sign of how tired he is, don’t affect his daunting beauty. He clearly got out from a long week himself, but despite still having to work on the next day, he still made time to see him, like the sweetheart he is. His heart swelling up with affection, Torao places a kiss on his brow; then, since there’s nothing else left to do, he decides to try and sleep too. Wiggling a little closer, he slowly turns around to let himself be spooned, managing to fit just right inside Ryunosuke’s arms. He tentatively rests his head on his arm, idly wondering if it’s okay to use him as a pillow. It’s only when he closes his eyes that Torao realizes how tired he really is – all the exhaustion from the long day comes crashing down on him at once, and his anxiety melts away as he lets sleep wash over him like the ocean. Just then, Ryunosuke sighs and buries his nose in his hair, pulling him closer, seemingly yearning for body warmth even in his sleep; before he sinks in slumber, Torao finds himself softly smiling in the darkness.

***

Spring comes rolling in one morning when all the _sakura_ trees seem to bloom at once, dusting the streets with pink and green and standing against the blue of the sky in all their glory. The sun’s also an early riser these days, washing Tokyo in a golden, bright light. Right now, Torao’s enjoying basking in the warm sunlight by sitting down next to a window, his hair pulled out of his face in a ponytail and his sleeves rolled up as he gives another look-over at the script resting on his lap, though he has already learned his lines by heart by the end of the previous week. The dressing room is quiet and empty, except for him. Maybe he came a little too early; Haruka would gape at him and call him weird, or he’d probably laugh at him if he knew the truth - that is, Torao was too excited to sleep properly and, as such, he ended up coming to work too early. Recently he seems to be doing a lot of uncharacteristic things, but he can’t say he minds. Instead, he’s actually quite enjoying the little changes he’s made to his life.

At one point, someone knocks at the door, then Ryunosuke’s face peeks in. Torao gestures for him to come in, a smile spontaneously making his way on his lips, growing even wider as he realizes Ryunosuke has brought him coffee. He thanks him as Ryunosuke walks up to him and hands him the paper cup, their hands brushing against each other and lingering for one more, unnecessary moment. Ryunosuke smiles at him.

“So you got the part?”

“Well, actually no.” Torao shrugs. “Someone else got the part. But they wanted me to be Blue instead, so it’s not too bad.”

Ryunosuke’s smile freezes. “Oh,” he only says. He carefully peers at him, perhaps worried that Torao might have taken it badly; in truth, however, he doesn’t feel disappointed at all. On the contrary, he feels a sense of inner peace unlike anything he ever felt before, like he’s been walking on cloud nine since the moment he got the call. He sips his coffee and grins.

“Don’t make that face,” he says, reaching out to jab at Ryunosuke’s side. “I actually think the person who got it is almost too perfect for the role.”

Ryunosuke looks at him quizzically, but Torao doesn’t need to say anything more because the next moment the answer to his implied question comes into the room in the form of Izumi Mitsuki holding a script and wearing a red hoodie, of all colors, like he’s trying to get into the role right from the takeoff. Putting two and two together is way too easy.

“Good morning!! Whoa, Mido-san, so early…!” Mitsuki says, as boisterously loud as ever. He stops in his tracks for a moment as his eyes fall on Ryunosuke. “Oh, Tsunashi-san! Good morning! Did you get casted in, too? I didn’t know—”

“No, no, I was just passing by and came in for a greeting,” Ryunosuke smiles. “Good morning, Mitsuki-kun. So, are you Red?” He adds, noting Mitsuki’s hoodie. Mitsuki nods proudly.

“Yeah! Does it fit me?”

“Yeah,” Ryunosuke says, glancing at Torao, who eloquently shrugs as if to say ‘told you so’. Even though Mitsuki got the role he wanted, he doesn’t feel even an ounce of envy. All that matters is that he can still be a hero — after all these years, a part of him feels almost vindicated.

He turns to Mitsuki, a smug look on his face.

“I might not be Red this time, but just you watch, Izumi. I’m going to be the most handsome Blue that ever existed and steal your spotlight. I’ll make you my sidekick,” he says, brimming with self-confidence. Mitsuki blinks at him, taken aback, but then bursts out laughing.

“Bring it on! I’m not going to lose either!” he counters with a boyish grin, spurred on by his own competitive nature; he actually looks exhilarated at being told something like that. Recording with him is going to be a riot. And it feels good to be acknowledged.

“I’ll be sure to watch it. Maybe I’ll even sign up for a future series,” Ryunosuke jokes cheerfully. His hand casually falls on Torao’s shoulder, warm and encouraging, and Torao has to distract himself with coffee to resist the impulse of grabbing his hand. He wonders if him pulling Ryunosuke out of the room for a moment just to kiss him would go unnoticed. Probably not.

“Be my guest,” he says instead, and adds smugly, “I’ll even beat Tsunashi Ryunosuke from TRIGGER.” It’s not really a challenge, and he’s likely not at that level yet, but he’s steadily walking forward. He’s getting there, and there’s no time to feel down when Ryunosuke looks at him and his gaze feels even warmer than the sun, sweet and full of promises.

***

Later that afternoon, going home after his very first recording session, Torao feels light and high-spirited, to the point he almost can’t stop himself from humming under his breath. He just needs to quickly swing by ZOOL’s headquarters to check his schedule with Shiro, then he’s going to be free for the rest of the evening. He should probably write to Ryunosuke as soon as he’s finished; maybe they could go for a drink, or a walk, or… or something. He’s actually entertaining the thought of inviting him over to his apartment just to watch a movie or make out, and he’s so lost in his reverie that he almost bumps into Haruka on his way inside.

He looks over at his younger friend in surprise, confused as to why he’s standing in the entryway, effectively blocking the passage, until he realizes Haruka’s face is frozen with something akin to shock. This should probably be a warning signal, but of course curiosity gets the best of him.

“Oi, what’s up?” he asks, making his way around the boy to peek inside the room. There are only Toma and Minami inside, both looking kind of awkward and abashed as Minami twirls a lock of hair around his finger, while Toma has got his face buried in his hands. Torao stares at them quizzically, the feeling he missed something growing in his mind. He turns back to Haruka, who’s still gaping at their friends like a fish with his eyes comically wide and mouth soundlessly flapping open.

“They—” he uselessly says, chokes. Then he seems to finally get to his senses. After quickly looking around as if to check no one is around, he drags Torao inside and closes the door behind them, leaning with his back against it. His face goes on fire and his voice goes up a little as he sputters out, almost hysterically, “I caught them _k-k-kissing!_ ”

Torao’s head whips from Haruka to the other two so quickly he gets whiplash.

“Let’s not make a big deal out of it,” Minami says, blushing a little, while Toma just lets out a pained groan. Torao can’t help but stare at them dumbly as everything suddenly makes sense all at once. Their close proximity all the time, Minami getting upset over Toma being close to others, Toma _kissing_ him at the party… and god knows what they did on their two-day trip. It’s all so clear it makes him feel stupid for not connecting the dots before.

“You should have told us!” Haruka furiously whispers, scowling at them, while Torao’s mind is still reeling with the fact that Toma and Minami have been dating all this time right under their nose.

“Well, fair enough. Sorry,” Toma mutters. After Minami apologizes, too, they all stare at each other awkwardly, not knowing what to say next. As the oldest one, Torao feels the pressure to say something to break the ice; in cases like this, he should take a page out of Blue’s book and say something wise, mature and inspiring.

“I’m… going out with Ryunosuke,” is what he says instead, his face flaring up as three pairs of eyes stare at him in shock since there is apparently no connection between his brain and mouth. Everything’s quiet for a moment; then everyone’s talking at once and clinging to him and asking how or why or what, and Torao thinks he’s going to have one hell of an evening for sure; he just hopes Shiro won’t be walking in anytime soon, and that he’ll still find time to see Ryunosuke even after all of this.

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: when i outlined this whole thing, it should have been 10k long. then it got out of hand [increasingly loud circus music]  
> sorry if there are any mistakes, i spent hours editing this but english is not my first language so i might have overlooked something... anyway thank you for reading until the end, and hhhuuuhhhhhhh i love mido torao


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